Jan 1st Why

What have I done?  Did I really decide to share my life with you every day? Doesn’t that require writing?  A commitment?  You see, I have this issue with ‘have to’s’, even when they start out as a ‘want to’.  No kidding.  Oh no… and then there’s that grammar and spelling thing.  I’m a pretty good speller but I’m not a detail gal.  Damnit, I’m going to have crazy ass mistakes out there for the world to see.  Okay, well, the world is a big place so, correct that:  I’m writing a blog post every day for the next 365 days for a lot of people to see.  

Yes I do care if it’s read.  

Yes I do care if it grows.  

Yes I do care if there’s an audience for this.

Come on now, if I wanted to write for myself, I’d write in my journal or I’d go for a hike and talk to myself (and yes I do these things too).    This is for you as much as it is for me.  So here goes:  I am writing a post to you, sharing my life with you, my insights, my stumbles, my FU’s, my ridiculousness and depth for the next 365 days because:  

TEN REASONS WHY… 

#1 – Having the world as an audience means there’s nowhere to hide, and with that, the gift of honesty continues to give generously – and likely more to me than to you.  

#2 – I know that I can’t say that I actually KNOW anything, as in for sure, as in take it to my grave, and I’m so tired of the expert industry – of the insanity of people thinking they know what’s best for people they don’t even know.  I mean, really? As if they could.   Yeeeeesh.  Nope.  This blog is an invitation for you to come on in and engage with what I think, what I notice, what I want to put public.  There’s freedom in being seen, and I hope my style stirs up a sense of wildness inside of you.

#3 – I do my best thinking when I’m not.  Writing, speaking and doing gets me out of my head so that what I think can just show up.  You’re my open stage for words to find my experiences.  Thank you for listening. 

#4 – Okay, that’s the fluffy truthful stuff, now on to the crap that dogs my trail:  it’s a monstrous challenge for me to commit to any kind of a daily action.  Yes I brush my teeth and sleep daily too, but even these I try to negotiate at times (spank me now).  Hands down, I’m a gold medal champion at resistance.  I even resist my resistance.   This bloody blog is going to bring all the stuckness in my resistance story up to the surface.  Blech. At newly 45 years old though, it’s probably about time.  I wonder what I’ll find.  

#5 – Chopping wood and carrying water is and has always been my most fulfilling accomplishment – because it isn’t one.  Do you know what I mean or have I lost you?  Chopping wood – like showing up simply because it’s what needed.  Carrying water – like doing the do because it’s what’s asked for.  It never occurred to me that I could set a goal (I hate goals) to chop wood and carry water.  The adrenalin that goes with setting, striving and reaching goals has cost me dearly in my life.  Sure I have a long list of accomplishments but who cares when there’s been little fulfillment.  365 days of blogging will become my daily practice.  I might even be re-writing my story about goals by living them in a new way.    

#6 – Inspiration is exhausting, but fulfillment is not.  I’m not even exactly sure why this is on the list, I just know it needed to be said.  

#7 – I like to write.  Correction: I love to write.  I love to listen to the words that come out of my fingertips.  That’s joyful for me.  

#8 – Words matter, and this is my way of saying so do I, so do you, so do we.  Our stories are our past and our future.  Oh boy, did I just say that I matter?  I did didn’t I?  That’s the name of my first book.  

#9 – I am very comfortable being ‘seen’ in glimpses, you know through photographs or on stage etc…, but over time, not so much.  Being seen is very different than being known.  What would my life be like if I was known? 

#10 –  After 365 days of being in my own witness protection program:  I suspect I’ll be more of who I came here as, and more of whom I designed to be.  That’s cool.  That’s really cool to me.  

Here’s to 365 days of Joy.  Oh wait a minute, I’m ahead of myself.  That’s for today.  Yes I am writing yesterday’s post today.  Yesterday was January 1st, a holiday and I don’t believe in working on holidays.  I need downtime too.  So this list of Ten Reasons Why is for yesterday, today.  Today I will also write today’s.  

Still with me?  Awesome.  Stay.

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