Tara Cafelle Where

Please join me in welcoming Tara Caffelle, Relationship Coach (whether staying, splitting, or having a baby), Intimacy Guru (chief instigator and founder of Nookie November), Big Life Conduit (coach and online host of Speaking of Sparkles) and now TinaOLife’s Hump Day Lady too (did I just say that?).

Oh Tara, you are such a fit and I am thrilled to announce you as one of TinaOLife’s Core Contributors covering all things relationship, in fact, you might even say that YOU are Where Relationships get Real.  Well, I do say that.

Here’s our story (TinaO’s perspective):

So I met this gal by accident which means on purpose.  I sat across from her at a BNI breakfast meeting and to be honest, as much as I’m a total hound for networking because I really do just love people, any kind of organized business thingy where we’re supposed to be ‘authentic’ and ‘non-pitchy’ yet the bottomline of why we are there is to get business and make our cash register ring…  these events always strike me as just odd, as in not quite honest but not quite false either (spank me now for speaking it as I feel it). The thing is, I can do these kinds of events, I’m even good at them, but still, they’re kinda weird to me.  ’nuff said – yet its probably the very reason why Tara made such a subtle yet significant impression on me.

Now when I go to a morning breakfast meeting, I see getting up, getting dressed, doing my hair (oh gawd really?), putting on lipstick (oh boy oh boy like reallllly?) and then leaving my house before 6am as a decision to further my education in people. As well, I see it as part of my active agreement with the universe/God/powerthatbe in order for the big magic we all allude to, to happen. One thing I know for sure is that nothing shows up for me unless I show up for it, thus the partnership.  So every now and then I put my cynicism aside (yes I can be a cranky codger) and I ‘show up’ at a networking event and do my do.  A few years ago, when I did that, I met Tara Caffelle.

We barely exchanged words – but who needs them when you understand the game of business networking.  The words we speak at these events are usually heavily rehearsed yet planned as hopefully authentic and packaged together as a 30 second elevator pitch to let the room know what we do so they can hire us right?  It’s not so much about who we are. That’s why I don’t pay too much attention to what people say at these events, but rather do how I feel when I experience them.

As I was taking the last few bites of my eggs benny, I knew that there was just something about this gal sitting across from me and a few chairs down that I wanted to get to know. So we did what you do at these things, we exchanged cards and she followed up.  Perfect.  Here’s what it looked like:

March 25th, 2014 – Hi Tina,  It was so great to meet you at BNI this morning – what a HUGE group that was!  I am a member of BNI Harbourside (we meet at the same restaurant on Wednesdays) and we’re only about 26 people, so that was a bit of a shock.  It seems like we have some great overlap and could likely have a fun, connecty kind of tea.  Let me know if you’d like to set that up in the next couple of weeks.  In the meantime, if you think of anyone having babies or adjusting to life with a newborn, the links to my workshops and website are below.  Have a great week and I will look forward to seeing you soon. Cheers, Tara 

April 8th, 2014  Hi Tara!  Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry I haven’t connected sooner.  I’m in the middle of a few really big shifts and I’m practicing focus… 🙂    I would LOVE to meet for cup of tea.  I think I need two weeks to get myself organized.   What do you think about Monday the 28th?  Would that work for you?  Thanks! Tina

Tara same day – yes, that would definitely work.  How about 10am somewhere? What part of the city are you in? 

Tina same day – sounds great.  I’m across the water so can we say 10:30 instead?  It’s closer to when I can be there!  – so downtown, or east van is good for me!  You?

April 20th 2014 – Tara   Oh, dear, I completely forgot to confirm this!  You are in my calendar for 10:30 on the 28th.  How about we meet at the Laughing Bean on Hastings (near the PNE but I can’t remember the cross street).

April 24th 2014 – Tina   Hi Tara!  I just remembered that I am booked from 10am – 11am on that day.  Can we do 11:30?  Same place?  Thx!

Same day – Tara  Yup, that works. See you there. 

April 27th 2014 – Tina Oh my… Sorry to do this again… Any chance you can do 3pm?  My day shifted once again!  I’m so sorry to make all these changes!!  If not, we can always rebook for the following Monday! Whatever works.   Xxt
Same day – Tara Sorry, but 3pm doesn’t work, and the only time I have is the morning on the following Monday. If we can do 10:30, I can do it. 
April 28th 2014 – Tina  Next Monday at 1030?  If so YES!  And again… My apologies… I’ve been juggling a little more than usual and stretching into new territory which means my structures shake a bit and my weakest point is scheduling… So thank you for your patience!    Next Monday 1030?? Locked??
Same day – Tara locked!  see you then!
Why do I share all the drivel of booking and rebooking and apologizing and rebooking again???  Seems boring right?  Well, that’s life.   That’s what SHOWING UP and STAYING WITH IT looks like.  It’s not all fireworks and magnetic pulls to work together.   It’s simply a desire to inquire first, matched by commitment and follow through.
So we met at this place, The Laughing Bean.
Laughing Bean
and from our first kinda ‘search and discovery’ conversation, I was introduced to the concept of this guy: Chris Dierkes, Soul Interpreter.  It went something like this:
Tara:  chatty chat chat what I do who I am what I’m interested in what has happened to me… ‘and then my soul guy’
Me:  listening listening listening watching wondering wondering… ‘what did you say?’
So much more to come about this… Chris has become my ‘soul dude’ and he as well will have a regular piece on TinaOLife called just that:  Dear Soul Dude (but that’s for another announcement) – see… magic happens when we show up.  Okay, back to Tara.
So fast forward a few months later and over a beer with Tara on a sunny summer patio, I met this gal, her awesome friend and colleague:  Coach Michaella.
Tara and Michaella
Holy crap!  What the hell happened?  is all I can say.  No kidding – we laughed so hard on that newly hot summer patio that I suffered dearly from my first inspiration hang over. We came up with a SNL Sketch called empha’sis’ that I swear made me pee (come on, three children, cut me some slack), as I clamored to get into my truck and head home. I had no idea that having such a good time could require couch time as recovery.
The three of us met up again last January to support each other’s vision for all that 2015 would bring.  Here’s a pic of them as they arrived in perfect West Coast style – yup, coffee in one hand, umbrella in the other. These kooky two women rock my world.    Little did the three of us know that my year would look nothing like we had planned, yet what we came up with was exactly what I needed.  I hope the same was true for them.
TinaOLife with Tara Caffelle and Coach Michaella
That year Tara launched Nookie November, 30 days of intimacy filled with silliness, sexiness and spontaneity.   Holy Dinah did that ever crack me wide open. It started out as sexy re-connection gift to my husband and it became so so so much more. I’ll share more about later.
When I was diagnosed with throat cancer last spring, Tara had her own big life stuff going on at exactly the same time.  We were two soul-inspired women trudging through painful muddy waters together yet completely apart.  When the dust had cleared for both us, Tara asked me to be a guest on her show Speaking of Sparkles and here it is:  Cancer, the wisdom of the body, getting off the rollercoaster of marriage and finally sinking into relationship.   
We became hooked.  p.s. I know, I know, I know, I need a new microphone because wowzers do I ever sound LOUD and fuzzy in this.  Well, turn down my volume just a bit and climb into the brainwaves of Tara and Tina.  
speaking of sparkles
When TinaOLife showed up as the answer to my professional home, I figured out pretty quick that as much as I’m all that and a bag of chips, I AM most definitely NOT THE ANSWER to everyone’s life questions.  I can’t be.  So if I’m going to take on this topic called LIFE and what it feels like to be REALLY LIVING, I’d better call in the giants who ignite that very thing inside of me.
Welcome Tara.  You’re a fucking rock star in my world.  You make dropping the f-bomb not just explosive, but sexy, crazzzy-ass funny and tender too. How can that be?  It must be you.
Watch for Tara’s weekly posts on Wednesdays as Hump Day (how appropriate), where she’ll be leading the charge on all things relationship.

Want to know about Tara Caffelle?  Check her out here at TaraCaffelle.com



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