Dear Tina #2 Your Hands Needn't Feel Small

It’s a funny thing this Dear Tina practice of mine.  I do it for me, but I see now, that I also write them for you.

Dr. Gordon Neufeld speaks of emergent energy and the importance of cultivating time for that in our children’s lives.   He suggests that we find out who we are when we’re doing what we do for no other reason than the sheer pleasure of being in the doing of it.

It’s when our doing has no ego.

For example, my strongest memory of this was when I was filling time as a 10 years old one pre-supper time afternoon. I gave myself ninety minutes worth of full on dancing – frolicking really, because I had time to kill before I was to be called in. See I grew up in a rather tumultuous home and going inside to that noise was always the last thing I ever wanted to do, so on that particular day, I decided to… dance.  I found wacky ways to wind myself up the old chipped cement steps, entangle my willowy body up and over the black enameled 70’s style railing, roll my arms across the glass bottle stucko, and leap back and forth across our paved walk dotted by my mom’s spring favourites: orange marigolds. Oh yes I did.  I can only imagine what our city neighbours thought about this curly haired wild child dancing like a fairy in her front yard. But I learned something about myself that day – though I didn’t know what.

Summer of 14 tree

Flash ahead a few months and now I’m running at full tilt down Fraser Street, 49th ave all the way down to 60th to visit some friend of mine (no idea who – clearly didn’t matter).  It was summer.  I had on lemon yellow shorts, a halter top and too small sneakers but I was on an adventure. Time stood still and I was running.  Again, I learned something yet didn’t know what.

And the hours of walking, walking, and still walking, back and forth to my best friend and boyfriend’s house after school. I seemed to never have enough bus fare, so I walked, sometimes for two hours – and that’s a lot of alone time for a 14 year old.  I loved it.  Again I learned something, still I didn’t know what.

TinaO Summer of 14

 

But now, at 45 years old, I do. I know what I was learning.

Dr. Neufeld suggests that it’s in these silent times of doing ‘nothing’ but ‘doing’ for the sheer enjoyment of the ‘do’ – while no one watching, or praising, or noticing – when there is no audience but ourselves that we become fueled by our very own emergent energy, and in doing so, we can listen to the story that is who we are.

We can hear who we are.

This Dear Tina practice that I do – is just that. It’s tapping in to the story that wants to tell me, to the wisdom that is timeless and to the emergent energy that fires up the effortless listening we all have access to.

I’ll write another post about what I didn’t know I was learning later, but if you want a glimpse into that now, here’s a piece I wrote a few years back as I was wrestling with being in my 40s, unsure of my purpose and feeling time tick tick tick. It answers the beginning questions of mine behind whom I’ve always been.

whom I've always been2

Welcome to Dear Tina #2.  If you’re just tuning in to this thread and want a bit more context to what this Dear Tina thing is all about, click here for Dear Tina #1. Bottomline: This is how I listen to what I call my innate wisdom, or soul.

Reading Dear Tina

May 2014 – Dear Tina 

Your hands needn’t feel small for you have access to the mother of all. 

Whichever piece of me you need today – I am here – as father, as mother, as girlfriend, as daughter, as mentor.

I am all for you at all times.  Step into my heart beat inside you and let your colours be seen – you are all that is needed.  There is no need to impress, simply be.  Be in your body, in your stomach that shakes – give of yourself as you always do.  Give of you – dear one – you are needed today. 

Step into my heart and together we can give it all away.  

 

Happy Easter all. While I’m a woman of spirit, religion isn’t really my thing.  Stories that are given as absolutes seem to divide us, but wisdom from those same words and the rituals they create do bring us together.

May you be blessed, warm, colourful, and funnnnnnnnnnn.  Smile and tilt your face to the sun. You belong. You are loved.

TinaO Your Living Story

 

xxT

 

 


TinaO is a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub for all things worth living for, the workshop Live Your Best Story, and her coaching practice:  Tall Poppy Living. She’s also a professional network marketer with a decade in the industry and in her Tall Poppy Living for Network Marketers Coaching Program, she teaches: selling isn’t slimey and marketing isn’t make-believe. You can be yourself and be successful in Direct Sales.