This topic came to me a few weeks ago when I saw our delightful TinaO posting on Facebook about her ‘boyfriend’ who is actually her devoted husband:
It got me thinking.
What is our default when it comes to relationship?
There is definitely a different tone to a relationship once it gets more serious; less dressing up for one another, more staying in to crash on the sofa with Netflix, and more sharing of…bodily functions.
I think we seek comfort and familiarity and happily fall into easy patterns once we’ve committed to being with someone. In addition, the intoxicating New Relationship Energy that flooded early interactions, causing a euphoria that replaced eating and sleeping, eventually fades so that we can get on with building a life together.
That is all well and good, but I would assert that we get to choose how we are in our relationships, regardless of how long you’ve been in them and being conscious about your behaviour is the key.
If you’ve been a wife or a husband so long that you don’t remember dating, try this on: behave in a way that feels like you are back in the land of wooing your mate; dress up for your time together, make some plans, hold the door open, make your signature recipe, give a back rub…you get to decide. I invite you to be conscious and notice how you were and also how you are.
As always, don’t be shy, let me know how it goes and what you discover over in Tara’s Play Space on Facebook.
Get Real, Sexy Real
Tara Caffelle is a Relationship and Communication coach. She is passionate about creating connected, almost-uncomfortable-to-watch relationships that are based in Sexy Communication and Big Lives worth rolling around in.
Tara is based in the Lower Mainland of Vancouver and offers custom-designed coaching programs. To claim your free 90+ minutes and see what might be possible for your own super coupledom (or persondom), find a time here.
Have a question for Tara? Have an idea for a Hump Day conversation? How about just some thoughts about this thing called life? Let us know here. We’ll answer back. We promise.