I woke up feeling mad and trapped this morning. Lets be honest, as I have almost every morning this week (minus the two days I had a friend over and was so happy to be distracted with her awesomeness and her bright eyed kids), and geeze louise, it’s because I’ve finally answered the door and let the money monster in.
‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer’ as they say. No, money isn’t my enemy and all of you know it all money peeps who are prone to spout off all kinds of positive affirmation sound bytes can just relax. I know: money is just energy and it takes on whatever meaning we give it.
I get it.
What I’m really saying is that I’ve had an ‘if I ignore you long enough maybe you’ll just go away’ relationship with money for a long time and guess what? It did. Well, the dollars did, but the relationship didn’t.
Have you ever been the kid who pretends to be playing hide and seek? You know, the kid who hides wayyyyyyyyyy far away because she doesn’t want to play, doesn’t want to be found but also doesn’t want to say no to your game invitation either? That’s me. I’ve been in the money game forever but just pretending to play, slowly grumbling and sometimes even seething in the bushes.
That said, I have also been the all flashing teeth, bright eyes and POSITIVE mindset kid running running running and playing the game – one might even say I have WON a number of rounds of good ole hide and seek.
But that has never been sustainable for me. I always end up slipping away back to the bushes.
Interestingly enough, the kid I’ve never been is the one who is actually engaged in the game. You know, the kid who has chosen to play because she frickin’ loves the rules, loves the game, loves the win and can let loose in laughter when she loses. Oh my goodness, how many times have we heard, “it’s not about who wins or who loses, it’s about how you play the game”? – the secret sauce ain’t much of a secret is it? You gotta play, and more importantly, you gotta play like you wanna play, and when you do, sometimes you’ll win and sometimes you’ll lose but you’ll sure have a heck of a good time PLAYING…
So that’s been my issue.
I don’t play. I’d really just rather not.
And when I do, I’m usually the reluctant player, and then worse, a judgemental player, and then worse than that – a resentful player.
No wonder I woke up mad.
Ever feel like that???
The good news is, waking up to anything you’ve been hiding from will bring on all of the stages you’ve been avoiding. That’s called MOVING FORWARD. It’s just a blechhhhy part. No wonder I’ve been ignoring this whole mess.
Who wants to feel like this? Yet here it is.
So the deal is:
If I can overcome cancer, dehydration, radiation sickness and burn blisters in my throat, then grow through methodically building the muscle and endurance required to swim, bike and run a triathlon,
I guess I can walk through this fire too.
Oh boy, I guess I have a new mantra don’t I? But who wants to repeat that all the time? So instead, how about when you hear me say… “I can overcome…” – suffice it to say that I’m finishing the long windy proof in the pudding sentence in my head.
…I can do this too.
Even when I’m mad.
Today I’ll accept that being mad is just kinda like living out the feelings of being blistered.
Here are my musings – in the moment. Don’t worry, I’m rather contained. I gave the worst of it to Todd on our daily Saturday morning drive to the boat.
TinaO is a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub for all things worth living for, the workshop Live Your Best Story, and her coaching practice: Tall Poppy Living. She’s also a professional network marketer with a decade in the industry and with her Tall Poppy Living for Network Marketers Coaching Program, she teaches: selling isn’t slimey and marketing isn’t make-believe. You can be yourself and be successful in Direct Sales.