TinaO’s Three Asks Per Day for Network Marketers – BLOG

I learned this a number of years ago when I first started my Network Marketing business:  do 3 asks/day.

Ask what?  I wondered.

Of course in those days we just asked for the booking, the sale, or the invitation to present the business opportunity, and so that’s what I did, over and over and over again, and boy did it work because the truth is, I rarely did just three. I always did ten or more. In doing so, I became very good at asking, in fact my ask muscle was so strong, I used to tell people that you’ll know you’re a master when you’ve grown a prospecting antennae in your brain. I would tell them this story:

You know how you can be standing at the checkout counter of your local drugstore in the mall but you can spot a lost child one hundred metres away? Somehow, even though it’s the end of the day, you’re busy running a guilty commentary in your head about eating a kitkat bar, all the while you’re thinking about tomorrow’s to do list, the work you didn’t get finished today and yet, bam… you can notice a lost kid across the mall. It’s as if your parent antennae flicks a switch and out of nowhere you are ready to do the 100 metre dash to help that child who is now wimpering over a football field away. That’s the antennae. Over time, I would say, with enough asking, you will build a prospecting antennae that can operate just like that: You will be able to spot a prospect 100 metres away.

And you do.

But then over even more time this will happen:

… when you quit your business, this is what you will tell me “I just couldn’t take it anymore. It was exhausting. I was looking at everyone knowing that I needed to ask them about my products and business because if I didn’t somebody else would.”

Have you ever told yourself that?  “If I don’t ask them about my business someone else will”.  In fact my favourite quote from the stage by a trainer about this is: “while you’re sitting at home figuring out what to say, I’m out there sponsoring your grandma!” – Yikes. Now there’s some adrenalized motivation. But it is funny. Oh man, I said that over and over and over to myself for months and it made me laugh every time.

If you’ve been in the network marketing industry for any amount of time you will have heard that concept, and if you haven’t, trust me, it’s coming. It’s almost a sales mantra out there. And here’s why: because it’s true. After twelve years into my business I can honestly say that I have lost count of the number of people “I missed out on” after they started with someone else because either I didn’t ask them, or because I did ask them but they didn’t want to do business with me. Oh the rejection…

And then you’ll tell me that you’re quitting because “it’s too heartbreaking”, or “I can’t take the rejection.”

So let’s blow this up shall we? As in, let’s throw a couple of sticks of truth-dynamite into this fear based prospecting style and start over okay?

As a Tall Poppy Network Marketer:

  • you do NOT take on fear based motivation, instead you follow a simple, sustainable system that produces results, and you follow it.
  • you do NOT prospect everyone that breathes, instead you introduce your product and business to those whom you would genuinely enjoy consulting and/or working with.
  • you do NOT attach your self-worth to your product or your business. When someone says no to you, you say, “thanks for telling me. I appreciate that. Here’s how you can find me if you ever have a change of heart and by the way, I do an annual holiday (or Mother’s Day, or Fitness etc…) campaign, can I be in touch with you about that? What is the best way for me to reach you? Email?”

As a Tall Poppy Network Marketer, you WILL follow a system of THREE ASKS/DAY, that’s it, that’s all.

Here’s why:

3 Asks/day takes only twenty minutes of time.

3 Asks/day = 15 asks/week

15 asks/week = 60 brand/product exposures

60 asks/week = a full calendar of bookings.

a full calendar of bookings = the building block business habit of your business.

In my business, my three asks per day are to fill my calendar with ten 30 minute one on one consultations over the phone/week (btw, that means 5 hours of business building activity) where I can ask them questions about what their interests are, tell my story, and offer some samples to try, or offer them a chance to check out my Facebook Group.

Once they’ve done that, I continue the conversation with two follow-ups / day which usually takes about 15 minutes / person and these are usually super casual, via facebook messenger or text (btw that’s 2.5 hours of business / week).

From there, twenty or so will actually want to buy something from me and of those twenty, ten will want something substantial.

And here’s what’s cool – since this method is ridiculously simply, totally relationship based, non-sales-weird, and has no adrenalin or rejection attached to it – these customers usually stay and so do I.

Three asks/day, that’s it, that’s all.

I’m a math person so here’s what it looks like for all of you numbers people out there:

  • 3 ask/day = 60 asks/mth
  • which become 40 connections (30 minute calls) / mth
  • which become 20 sales / mth
  • which become 10 repeat customers / mth
  • which generates 2 or 3 people interested in my business.

These are good numbers don’t you think?

_____________________________________

 

TinaO is a Core Story Specialist and a Program Director of PUBLISH with Meribeth Deen for The Leap Learning Lab. She’s a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub to Live, Give and Be Your Story, plus the deep listening weekend retreat Live Your Best Story. She’s been in the PR and Marketing world since she could put words together and has been a professional network marketer for over twelve years. She teaches: selling isn’t slimey, marketing isn’t make-believe and writing your book won’t give you an aneurysm (it’s not hard). You can be yourself in all that you do. In fact, that’s the world is waiting for. 

Curious about TinaO’s Network Marketing business? Contact me here. These comments are NOT public, they instead go directly to my email address which is tina@liveyourbeststory.com

 

That Money Thang #1 – Enough is Enough

TMThang #1 Enough is EnoughEnough is Enough I said.  

So this is where it all begins, or continues. I don’t know anymore. Oh mannnn my relationship with money is like a best selling romance novel – there’s hot and steamy sexy bits with page upon page of anticipation only to be dashed into sleepless nights and heartbreak in the end. It seems drama has kept me coming back for more every single time. How like a twenty-something I am, except I’m 45.

It’s not like I was raised with victim-ish helplessness around paying the bills. There was no yelling or tears or even deathly silence over our dinner table, but rather the clear unavoidable acceptance of just goin’ with the flow, accepting that what we have is all we need and bloody hell, we’ll survive just fine thanks.  It’s those debilitating don’t ask don’t tell claws that have messed with my financial psyche. In our house both awesomely good and stupidly nasty surprises like: layoffs, dying cars, bad gambles and winning the legion meat draw happened, so our rag tag bunch of mis-matched sibling (eleven of us, some kids, some not), all pretty much learned not to invest in anything too deeply. Listen, our sandcastle got built up and kicked down daily in an exploding second. What’s to invest in? Why bother?  It’s going to be all good right? It all finds its way? It all works out in the end…? Right? 

Maybe. 

So today, at 45yrs old, after growing up blue-collar broke, then saddled with theatre school student loan debt in my twenties, claiming bankruptcy after a failed marriage in my pre-thirties, making ‘gangsta’ big cash in my forties in the network marketing industry and now starting all over again after a career change, cancer and just plain craziness, it’s time to take on my money story. I think it’s probably a good idea to get that handled before I’m a half century old.

It’s time to step into my story as the main character instead of watching it unfold like a jaded audience member. Now there’s a frickin’ journey I have wished would just happen without me needing to be involved. Wouldn’t that be nice?  Mmmmm imagine if financial freedom was as simple as picking a box full of donuts.

Apparently it doesn’t work like that.

So, here’s where it begins.

Champagne was needed.

If this speaks to you, follow along. I’ll be introducing you to my four financial avengers and support team in the weeks to come. They’ll be lifting my confused head out of my own ahemmmmm… you know what, for the next while.

They’re really cool.  I think I’m going to buy them each an avenger cape with all the money I save over the next year. I’m sure they won’t let me be so frivolous.

You see, I have a big hairy audacious goal.  

I want to buy a house in the Lower Mainland in the next two years. We have no savings, lots of debt, and a double income that adds up to just a single one – currently, but it looks like I’m going to change that.  Remember that gangsta money I earned once before? Well, if I can do it once, I can do it again.

I think I just had to GIVE UP first. Clearly what I was doing wasn’t sustainable, and broken dreams cost more than unrealized ones.

So here’s to financial freedom. To what it really means, and not the lip service everyone seems to give it. I’ll write more about that later.

Come with…They say financial empowerment feels pretty good. I’m up for that.


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xxT

TinaO is a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub for all things worth living for, the workshop Live Your Best Story, and her coaching practice:  Tall Poppy Living. She’s also a professional network marketer with a decade in the industry and with her Tall Poppy Living for Network Marketers Coaching Program, she teaches: selling isn’t slimey and marketing isn’t make-believe. You can be yourself and be successful in Direct Sales.

Tall Poppy Living for Network Marketers

poppy
poppy
Well, I’ve been talking about this for awhile – just not publicly.  I’m a professional network marketer and have been for over a decade.

  • I sell stuff.
  • I ask others if they want to sell stuff too.
  • Then I teach them how to build, run and grow their own business.
  • I nurture these professional relationships into an organization of conscious, ethical, heart centered, profit minded, sustainability focused team of business partners.

That’s what I do. That’s my job description, alongside the minute yet crucial daily-do-details of being IN business

I am a network marketer

On July 15th I am celebrating eleven years in this industry which has challenged me, grown me up, pissed me off, celebrated me, lifted me, loved on me and taught me everything I need to know about life, business and what success truly means to me.  I think:

Success is like spirituality, politics, sex, religion and money.  It’s personal.  It’s deeply personal and daringly unique to every walking soul out here.  

Today I start blogging about what it means to be a Tall Poppy in the Network Marketing Industry.  I hope you’ll join me in what I hope to be a vivid and conscious conversation.

More to come.

Because it’s ok to be a tall poppy, especially when you already are one. 

2016-03-20 09.58.06xxT

This is my ‘network marketing’ selfie. Funny isn’t it?  Same woman, different piece of me.


TinaO is a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub for all things worth living for, the workshop Live Your Best Story, and her coaching practice:  Tall Poppy Living. She’s also a professional network marketer with a decade in the industry and with her Tall Poppy Living for Network Marketers Coaching Program, she teaches: selling isn’t slimey and marketing isn’t make-believe. You can be yourself and be successful in Direct Sales.

Would I ever go back to Network Marketing again?

Would I ever go back

Not only does Network Marketing have a bad reputation in the minds of many people, while the trash talk may be misinformed, some of the issues have traces of truth to them which has lead me to the following questions: Would I ever leave? Would I ever go back?  Would I do it all over again if I could?

Here’s the deal:  I’m a decade in. I’ve made it to the top.  I’m a pioneer in Canada.  My family still lives on my network marketing income.  While it was once six figures and gave me trips to Maui, trips all over the United States and Canada, Tiffany jewelry, a luxury car, purses, bags, swag, shiny things and more… I’m not motivated by stuff.  That’s all nice and everything but it doesn’t get me out of bed and over my own procrastination or resistance.

Still, after five years of ‘taking a break’ my family of five still lives on the income that my network marketing business pays me.  Crazy right?  Or is it smart?

Trash Talk:  So much promise, so little return.

Truth:  You get what you are willing to build. What is worth sweating over to build?

family banner

Here’s the thing:  I don’t respect ‘follow the leader’ groups (come on now, as if one person could have the answer for everybody), nor do I find any enjoyment in hotel hypey meetings (rah rah rah blah blah blah), and I really cringe when I hear ‘tactics’ for selling that involve ‘overcoming objections’, or ‘facing your fears and doing it anyway’.  Why do objections need to be overcome? And surely our fear instinct has a purpose. How about just listening to the objection and being fearful of what is truly dangerous? I got to the ‘top’ of my business without ever having to overcome anybody’s objections or feel my fear and do it anyway.  I didn’t do what I was afraid of.  I did what challenged me instead, and I listened for the YES that worked for my clients and for me.

Trash Talk:  It’s a cult.

Truth:  You’re a business owner.

Here’s the dilemma:  Business success in network marketing is based on your ability to teach thousands of people how to follow a simple business system over and over and over again – a.k.a. duplication.  The truth is, network marketing success is no different than implementing the ideas in Michael Gerber’s The E-Myth.  So really, people, calm down, it’s not brainwashing, it’s following a system.  That said, without ‘jargon’ and ‘hype’ and ‘rituals’ and ‘a top ten list’ how does motivation and duplication happen?  And while we’re here, how do you mass duplicate “just tell the truth and serve the people”.

Trash Talk:  I hate those rah rah rah motivational selly things.

Truth: Find your own motivation, you’re not a sheep.

Here’s the challenge:  Network Marketing isn’t for everybody (neither is team sports), yet anybody can do it.

Not everyone is going to find fulfillment in the network marketing industry, not everyone is going to generate wealth.  Not everyone is going to enjoy the process either yet the doors are always OPEN for ANYONE to join in, and lots do.

I soooooooo respect an open playing field.

I sooooooo champion all-access-opportunities.

I live by ‘all’ is greater than ‘some’.

Trash Talk: Coffee isn’t for every-body

Truth: yet almost everybody drinks it.

Bullet proof coffee

Here’s the insight:  In today’s wacky world of broken rules, cracked systems and mega-marketing (like who do you believe anymore?), we all need three streams of income to be bulletproof.  I learned this from my friend Cat in Toronto.  She said to me “we all need three legs to stand on because when (not if) one gets broken, we still have two to stand on”.  True right?  In the decade that I’ve been in this industry, I’ve had a third baby, almost lost my marriage, let go of my house, had a life-direction breakdown (okay, a mid-life crisis), parented emotional teenagers, lived through a recession, saw friends lose babies, divorce and experience financial ruin, and to top it all off, last year I had CANCER.

Mother Fudrucker.  Are you kidding me? 

Yes indeed, we all need three legs to stand on because sometimes it takes more than six weeks in a cast to mend a limb.  Sometimes the leg is severed and simply needs to be replaced and that takes time. Over the last ten years, my network marketing business has been the only constant revenue our family has had, be it a gangsta paycheque or an average one.  I sometimes forget that’s a worthy leg to stand on for sure.

Trash Talk:  Why do you need a plan B if you already have a plan A?

Truth:  Because you do.

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Conference feet take a break in Calgary

 

Here’s what I’ve learned: Nobody wakes up dreaming about building a career in network marketing (well, none that I’ve met anyway), but everyone wakes up needing cash for food, shelter and peace of mind. Some people wake up desperate for a chance to GO FOR SOMETHING BIG, but most simply just want to be happy.  Lots of people yearn to be appreciated, to be known, to be part of a community, and a select few decide to create it themselves.

Most of us have ALL that it takes to be successful in network marketing:

  • like people.
  • love the product you sell.
  • learn to communicate.
  • practice remembering that yes is an answer just as much as no is and that neither is better than the other, nor is it to be taken personally.
  • be habitual.
  • be reliable, be kind – and above all else…
  • LOVE PEOPLE (more than you like them).

Yet… so few think they have what it takes.

Even me sometimes, and I’ve been to the top. I drank the kook-aid.  I wore the logos.  I cried at the conventions.  I even drove (drive) the car.

Trash Talk:  So many people fail in network marketing.

Truth:  So many people quit.

The truth is:  I respect this industry more than any other industry I’ve ever been in because it’s real and there’s nowhere to hide or to pretend.  The truth will ALWAYS out in network marketing because it’s a people based business. People have the best ‘sniffer’ I know.  They can feel authenticity, they can smell a ‘sell’.

Oh yeah, and really… like come on… where else can I work 15 hours/week like it’s a ‘j.o.b.’ and make gangsta money?  Where else can I go to ‘business school’ and get paid to learn how to be an entrepreneur?  How else can I make ‘career’ money without having to have a career?

What other business allows you to have all the crazy goodness that comes with a franchise opportunity without having the million dollars you need to buy a frickin’ franchise? I can’t deny that.  Just look at the numbers. Truly, don’t listen to the rah-rah-opportunity -this-will-change-your-life-stuff, just look at the bloody numbers.  They don’t have ‘spin’ on them.

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I’m an artist.  I’m a momma.  I’m a wife. I’m a writer, I’m an athlete (well, becoming one again), and I’m a coach.  I don’t have time for a job. I got shit to do.  Big shit.  Big loud, fabulous, life-affirming, world tilting shit to do. I’m not here to waste my life pretending to play small when I’m not. No. That’s not me. I have a calling to fulfill, and so do you.

Network Marketing is not my career, yet it encompasses all the things that I’m designed to do:  build community, see greatness in people, write, speak, perform, and make a difference in this insane world of lying lying lie lie lie selling.  Thank you Jerry Seinfeld – you crack me up. Did you you click the link? Here it is again.

Network Marketing, you are the gift that keeps challenging me to grow up, to ‘fess up, to lift up, and most importantly to SHOW UP. Without you, I wouldn’t know what I know now and I wouldn’t be here on TinaOLife living out the calling that’s been with me since I took my first breath.

Tina Speaking

So to answer my own questions:

Would I leave?

ummm probably not, that just seems stupid. That’s callous, I know, but really, some things are pretty obvious when you can finally see them.

Would I ever go back?

Well, I’m certainly not working my biz the way I did ten years ago because that was sheer insanity (even though it worked), and technology has changed since then, so I don’t have to.  It’s kinda nice to have a global business from the comfort of my bed and in my fuzzy slippers.

Would I do it all over again if I could?

That’s the easy hard one to answer: Yes. Yes I would. It’s kinda like: “if you knew what you know now about marriage and having children, would you do it all over again?” – yes, yes, yes and more yes.  It’s frickin’ hard. It’s totally real and it’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

The deeply challenging things that expand us usually are.

TinaO Your Living Story

 

xxT

Wanna know about my business?  email me. overburynation@gmail.com


TinaO is a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub for all things worth living for, the workshop Live Your Best Story, and her coaching practice:  Tall Poppy Living. She’s also a professional network marketer with a decade in the industry.  She teaches: selling isn’t slimey and marketing isn’t make-believe.  You can be yourself and be successful in Direct Sales.  

 

 

 

The Daily Shutdown

The Daily Shut Down

Sometimes the things we kick and scream to avoid are the very things we should’ve done a long time ago.

Let’s talk about solopreneurs shall we?  I’m a mompreneur, a writer, a network marketer, the founder of this very site and the Live Your Best Story Retreat.  I’m a busy gal.  I’ve designed my life that way.  I have kids, a house to tend to, a dog to walk, a body to take care of (ummm my body), a business to run and all the admin that goes with simply being a living breathing person in today’s societal ‘agreements’ box.  I likely have the same long list of responsibilities that you do. I’m not busier than you, and I am also not complaining nor making my case to be worthy of you liking me more or making a plea with the hopes that you’ll repost this for all the other mompreneurs out there. This isn’t strategic blogging for reblogging purposes.  This is a personal aha of mine that I still want to pretend isn’t true.

I’m done at 3pm.  Like done. Over and out done. I start making withdraws from my bank of ‘fake it till you make it’ after 2:59pm. I’ve turned the dial from left brain to right brain to no brain left at all. You’ll know I’m there when this writer’s sentences are strangely missing vowels.

Can you grab me the…. ummm… you know that thing… the finger and thumb moving thing that cuts that stuff… (I mime the action so they get it).  The kids stare at me:  ” you mean the scissors mom?” – Yes of course I mean the scissors.  What are you looking at?  Go get them for me!

Why?  Well, okay, so sometimes I’m up at 4:30am as a hockey mom (twice/week this season) but mostly I’m daily shaking my tail at 5:30am: wake-up, lunch up, drive, kiss and drop the Mister off.

“Have a good day and drive safe”.

Then on to the next crew to move on up and out: wake-up, toast-up, dress-up, pack-up, (sometimes scrap-up), then kiss-up and send off.

Have an awesome day you guys.  See you at three.

The morning moves me on to the daily dos: you know, the list that when you don’t do it, becomes twice the list the following day and not only that, if you skip it you’ll just agonize your procrastinating hours away about the very thing you’re procrastinating.

Wicked wicked cycle – one that I personally try to avoid.  

Start the laundry, straighten the shoes, figure out dinner, wipe up the morning mess, check the calendar, phone, facebook, make the food and supplies list for the daily afternoon dash to the store, check for forms, wipe down the damn boy toilet… again  (grrrrrr…. one day right?  one day they’ll do it?), figure out where the dog walk or personal run fits, shower and then…

Get down to business: turn the laptop on, crack open the to do list, the follow-throughs, and the must accomplish. My business thought processing doesn’t even start until 10am and that’s 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 hours post my feet first hitting the morning floor.  It’s a half day of ‘work’ already before I’ve even begun.

It took me awhile to connect the dots about the 3pm shut down thing.  Of course I had to get nailed with cancer before I could be honest about it.

I still tell myself that shutting down at 3pm is too early.  

That I’m not working hard enough.

That I could do more.

That I need to do more.

That my business requires me to do more.

That “if it’s meant to be, it’s up to me”

That “success occurs when my dreams are bigger than my excuses”

That “if it’s important, I’ll find a way”

Yeah well, tell that to the me who dipped one too many times into her bank of reserves and came out on the other side overdrawn.

I had to get nailed with cancer before I could be honest about it.

Last year I received a cancer diagnosis and everything changed.  I was in this group therapy session thingy for people in treatment and I heard this woman beside me who was a therapist herself with three decades of serving others behind her, an uuber woman, mom, professional, wife and more say:  “Yeah, I practice being lazy now.  It’s not easy for me, but I do it.”

It’s too bad we have to call self-care lazy.

There’s just something wrong with that.

“Yeah, I practice being lazy now.  It’s not easy for me, but I do it.”

My shut off time is 3pm. That’s when I decide to just be me: Tina, mom, wife, friend, me.  It feels kind of like floating, like I’m drifting around on the current of life.  I’m laying on my back, face up to the sun, belly exposed, sun glasses on, just laying there, trusting that this massive ocean is totally strong enough to hold me, and guess what?  Willingly, it does.

3pm is a good time to shut down for the day. Done done and done.   FLOAT time.  How about you?

TinaO Your Living Story

 

xxT

 

 


TinaO is a writer, speaker, network marketer and the founder of Live Your Best Story.  Want to know more or work with her?  Click here.  

GRIT. Got some?

Grit Got Some

 

I didn’t know that my kids would be like other people’s kids.  My eldest two are in or approaching their teen years and motherfudrucker are they ever doing what teens do.  It’s a nasty stage to parent through yet such an important one for them because this is where they either grow grit or not, and then they suffer the consequences of not knowing how to pick themselves up out of the mud later in life.

And as we know, there’s a lot of mud to come.

Here’s a snippet of what happened in my family this morning.  I wrote it for my ‘downline’ (network marketing jargon for team) because I recognized how insanely similar this is to the lessons we’re called on to learn in our business. I hope it speaks to you as it seems to have spoken to my team.

Very interesting experience with my teenage son this morning. It made me think of our business and what it takes to design, get, and live a life we love. Here’s what happened:

We have a rule in our house, ‘as soon as it gets too hard to get up for hockey, hockey goes away’ – and right off the hop, since the boys were 7/8yrs old, they’ve been able to get up, sometimes as early as 4:30am to get on a 5:30am boat for a 6am practice. No kidding. Cold, tired and hungry… Yet off they would go.

So flash ahead 6 years and my eldest is now 14yrs and is in high school. He is often home later after his games, like 10pm and then the next morning he’s up for school at 6:30am to catch the bus at 7:05am. This morning (and multiple others this year) he had refused to get up saying ‘I’m too tired’. He’s 6’2 and 180lbs with his own mind, his own convictions, and his own chutzpah. I don’t believe in ‘making kids do anything’ anyway (unless the issue is human decency), but the truth is, I couldn’t make him get up now even if I tried.

Soooooo… I realized, this kid CAN get up, he does it all the time. He has a TRACK RECORD of doing what is challenging, he’s simply choosing not too because he doesn’t WANT TO. The REWARD or the REASON isn’t compelling enough. So… Given all of our ‘What’s your WHY?’ training, I decided to up the ante on his ‘why’. On my 5th attempt to get him out of bed, I said, ‘Mister, this has to stop. Here’s the deal, for every morning that you are like this, you lose a practice. You have two minutes to get up or there’s no hockey tomorrow.’

He didn’t get up.

What the Truck?

I go back in and do the thing I would NEVER DO in a coaching conversation. I implore with him: ‘Why would you do that? Why would you choose being tired over playing hockey? It’s worth so much to you. Why would you choose to be right about how stupid it is to go to school when what you’ve worked so hard for over the last six years hangs in the balance? Why would you do that??? Help me to understand because I don’t LOVE hockey, I love you.

He says to me: because I’m tired.

Classic.

In our business, the response is different but the same, it sounds like this: ‘Because it doesn’t seem to work for me’

Also Classic.

His dad has now been texted in because he’s on his way to work already (now 6:55am). He sends this: No school, no Maple Ridge on Friday (Game).

I walk back in to his room (which I often do in our our biz too… I walk back in) and tell him the news. – An exasperated GROAN comes from under the covers as he knows he really has no choice now. Well he does have a choice, just not one he’s willing to make. He’s backed into a corner because IT JUST GOT REAL.

The phone rings. It’s his dad. I hand him the phone.

‘I don’t want to talk to dad, he’s just going to yell at me’.

I say: ‘Listen dude… You made this bed, you don’t get to opt out of respecting your father. You don’t have to like what he has to say, or even agree with it, but you do have to listen.’

I leave the room.
He listens, hangs up, gets up and in 9 minutes gets himself dressed, packed and fed and out the door.

No he’s not talking to me.
No he’s not happy.
Yes he is honouring his CONVICTION to play hockey by doing what is least pleasant to him.

Here’s what I see, some of us are pleasers, others avoiders, some are team players, others loners, we do what we do for personal reasons and we choose to get back into the ring to go another round FOR WHAT MATTERS TO US, but only and I mean only WHEN IT GETS REAL and unfortunately, as is the way with the human experience, the magic only happens when our backs are against the wall. Oh boy.

Sooooo back to business… What we have is the brass ring. There is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING else out there like this that MOST PEOPLE can do to get the kind of return that comes with this biz model.

High pay for low time
High freedom for low responsibility
High friendship, lifetime friendships, deep meaningful walk through fire kinds of friendships without having to give up who you are.
A life first job without having to give your own life up in the process.

No education needed
Low investment needed

So when it feels hard for you to ‘do the do’, ask yourself, ‘what would have to happen before I was willing to REALLY do it? When would I cross the line into true LIFE LEADERSHIP and be willing to be the last person standing to make this business a success?

Unless of course you don’t really want what you said you came for… But I doubt it.

I said to Todd when it all blew over, this lesson were in with our son right now has NOTHING to do with HOCKEY, and everything to do with building the GRIT it takes to DO THE DO in order to LIVE YOUR LIFE on YOUR TERMS and not the terms of others.

Sometimes you have to get in to the ring with yourself in order to win.

Thinking of you.
Thinking of your grit.
Seeing your magnitude.
And holding you accountable to your WHY.

And the same with me.
Me too.
I’m just like you.

Some days I’d rather just say I’m too tired. But where will that get me?

It’s okay to be tired when you are. It’s not ok to be tired when there’s still life and will and Fire and a want inside of you. Some days you just gotta dig a little deeper.

Xxxt

So, I ask you. Do you have grit?  Are you willing to be the last one standing to have what really matters to you?  What is it going to take?

TinaOLife

xxT

 

 

 

Is Your Knowledge on Ice?

Is your knowledge on ice

Ignorance on fire is better than knowledge on ice, or so they say.  This success strategy has served me well for a long time but has cost me dearly for an even longer one.

My whole life I’ve been a dive into the unknown kinda gal.  I do my best work in anything and everything I do when I know the least.  I race to the top in whatever I do and faster than most because I am very comfortable wearing Steve Jobs’ Reality Distortion Field and keeping my head down, my eye on the prize and look only at what I’m doing.

When I don’t know what I don’t know, there’s nothing to tell me that I can’t leaving only possibility.  This has been a brilliant results oriented success system for me.  From the outside everything looks great:  I do, I achieve, I am applauded, and then I move on. Wait a minute… that’s the kicker right?  The trap of this kind of success formula is that there’s little desire further the work once I’ve nailed the goal.  Why? Because I’m no longer ignorance on fire.  I’m now knowledge on ice, with no motivation to get warm.  And then it gets cold, freaking cold, like anxiety driven, worry filled night kinda cold as I sort out:

What do I do now that I know what I know?

How do I feed this success animal I’ve built on ignorance when my eyes are open to the whole picture now?

You may have heard this before too because I didn’t come up with it, and the person who taught it to me probably didn’t either:

Stage one = Uninformed optimism Stage two = Informed

Stage three is usually = Informed pessimism. 

Why usually?  Because it takes walking the double edge sword of all things in order to get to informed optimism.  It takes converting informed on both the positive and the negative side of it to give you wisdom.  Most of us just want the shortcut.  We don’t want wisdom. We want results.  We serve the bottomline or the adrenaline of achievement, or the satisfaction of belonging because we’re ‘worthy’ due to our accomplishment.  Come on now, ‘fess up.  Why do you go for challenges and incentives?  Why do you take risks?  What is usually your motivation for diving into the unknown?

You might say:  Because I’m curious Tina.  I’m a life-long learner.    

I say:  Cool.  Then what?  How do you let that learning LIVE?

For most of my professional life (up until now), I’ve been happily doing and achieving as ignorance on fire.  Wow… what a rush. There’s always something new to learn, the excitement of the unknown and then the reward of figuring shit out.  You could feed me this recipe for breakfast, lunch and dinner and all deserts and drinks too.  I EAT THIS UP!

But then I get a stomach ache. I’m frozen by what I’ve learned.  I can see the pot holes, the areas of growth that are needed, the dark corners and the stinky stuff that if cleaned up would make things even better.  Oh mannnn why do that when ignorance on fire has such a higher return?  Why implement anything I’ve learned when I can just go on learning new stuff?

I’m in the network marketing industry and this is a slogan that is thrown around at every ‘getting started’ training out there.  As organization builders in a sales and recruitment based business, our bottomline and our team’s confidence go up when we have new people starting their business with us.  We WANT FRESH FACES because it reminds us that this opportunity rocks, and you know what – it freaking does rock.  Ten years in, with all the knowledge I have and very little ignorance left, I can say without a shred of holding back, this is the best industry going out there if:

  1.  you wanna make lots of money with low risk or overhead.
  2. you wanna work part time.
  3. you like people
  4. you’re a life long learner.

But here’s the deal:  You gotta let go of the ignorance on fire thing and ditch the knowledge on ice thing too if you really want to enjoy the fruit.  Malcolm Gladwell talks about 10,000 hours to mastery.  Well, that’s about 7 years in a 15 hour/week network marketing business.  You sure as heck ain’t gonna be ignorance on fire for seven years.

Like any long term venture be it business, friendship, marriage, career, personal growth, whatever… the TRUTH of that story will always out over time and that means that the veil of ignorance will lift and knowledge with set in.   Nothing is without dark corners.  Nothing is without improvement needed.  Nothing is perfect and that’s what makes the whole darn thing worth investing in.

So… if you buy this whole Ignorance on Fire is Better than Knowledge on Ice thing, I challenge you to step into WISDOM and see what kind of satisfaction, freedom and true wealth lives there instead.

My wish for you is true freedom, is peace, is long term success and feeling good about what you do.

What to check out my network marketing business?  You totally can.  Click here for an electronic business pack.  Why not?  You’re ignorance on fire for such a short time… wink.  

TinaOLife

 

xxT

 

 

I’m Walking… Still Walking…

I'm walking

Goals stink so says I.  Why?  Because you can’t just order them off a menu like they don’t belong to you.  In order for them to work, they have to mean something.  While placing your mouth watering want with the waiter in front of you might feel like a big deal – the reality is once the food is gone so is the meal.

A goal has to has to be rooted in a yearning in order for you to keep going.   Lets face it, none of us would tread through snow up to our knees with our cheeks, ears and nose screaming cold from the wind, unable to see more than three feet in front of us if we didn’t believe that the promised warm cabin just 100 metres away wasn’t really there.  We just wouldn’t do it – well, we wouldn’t do it by choice.

Goals are choices.

Goals are destinations.

Goals are stakes in the earth, in our mind, and on our calendars.

Goals are decisions.

This morning I set a bunch of mine in motion because I put them to the page.  I’ve been self-employed for almost three decades and goals make me nauseous and angry now, yet try as I might I can’t seem to ditch the word.  When I pick up my pen and my auto-pilot goal-setter kicks in, she writes:  My Goal for TinaOLife…. My Goal for LYBS…. My Goal for my Network Marketing Business… My Goal for Me…

Man oh man… I just can’t ditch the word goal even though I don’t believe in them.

I believe in story.

I believe in walking.

I believe in direction fueled by a yearning.

and then I walk.  as I listen.  as I follow and lead, and move in the direction of the story of which I’ve chosen to be the main character.

I just keep walking.

Where do you walk?  Why?  Do you care?  Are you willing to?

TinaOLife Twitter

 

xxT

 

 

Yearnings Ignite, Goals Fade

Yearnings Ignite

We’ve all done it:  Set a goal.  Some of us have even reached that goal, but most of us don’t, or we do but it takes longer than it should, or we kinda get there, or when we do get there we wonder:  What was all that fuss was about? 

I’m a recovering goal setter because I’ve been a firey one for years.  Oh man how I love both January and September.  Mmmmmm cracking open a fresh journal, plotting out my quiet time to map out what I’m doing next, buying a new pen or finding just the right one with the best tip… oh boy.  Who needs sex when you have goals?   Truly, it’s weirdly almost that good for me.   Did you catch it though?  It’s the SETTING of the goal that’s intoxicating, not the doing of it.  That’s why it’s knocked out a morning romp or an evening of candlelight for me – oh my poor partner, if he only knew when he married me that he’d be upstaged by a journal and a pen.

Why do we like to set goals more than achieve them?  Because they’re fired up by the heat of our yearnings.

Why do we attend conferences and trainings and retreats only to come home and stay the same just different?  Because possibility is a re-chargeable battery pack.

Why do we achieve goals, feel happy and then start all over again?  What’s with this empty-full-empty-full cycle we all seem to crave?  Because we’re feeding our external story instead of being nourished by our internal one.

I say all of this because today (as in right now) I’m in a retreat for my network marketing business and it’s January.  Guess what we’re doing tonight?  Yup… setting goals except I don’t call them that anymore, they’re targets instead.  They’re focal points.  They’re intentions.  Why?  Because goal fatigue kills business, and rah rah rah-ing some people’s pinnacle achievements creates a divisive culture, fractures teams and sabotages the very essence of what makes a team work:  a common drive, togetherness and not individual achievements or goals.

Could I be talking semantics here – sure, but words are insanely important to me and I do my best to choose them wisely.  The living story of the word goal these days shows up like a ‘line in the sand’, a ‘set point’, a measurement of ‘accountability’ – think the super popular S.M.A.R.T. goals:  Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely.    Everything here is externally motivated.  A SMART goal of mine for this blog might be:

It is January 10th 2016 and I am happily celebrating having shared this blog with 100 people.

So let’s say that all of the above happens.  I wake up on January 11th, I’ve done my due diligence and I’ve nailed my goal.  What happens now?  How do I feel now? What is my take away now?  What is fueling my next ‘goal’ now?

Well, I’m back at the beginning again aren’t I?  I am starting all over. My take away is that I probably feel pretty good about myself for having ‘achieved’ my goal, but now, if I slow down enough to actually feel anything at all, I’m a bit empty, daunted and let down. How come I just achieved that goal and now I’m back at the beginning again? Damn these goals, they’re so elusive.  Will I ever get there?   So then the fuel for my next goal becomes hope, possibility, and the drive that one day, maybe, just possibly, I will arrive.  It will stop because I will reach a celebratory finish line. I will raise my arms in the air, someone will notice this incredible moment other than just me and I’ll be handed a lifetime gold medal of having done ‘my all’ and I never ‘have to’ achieve anything again.  I will be done.

As if right?  And frankly, how boring and how demeaning to this incredibly complex and beautiful human experience.

Here’s my suggestion.  Switch your goals to your yearnings. Focus on the deeper wants, the heart beat that comes without you trying, the dreams that wake you up at night with desire, the fire that never goes out instead. Here’s my example and creation:

Y.E.S. Goal:  What is it you YEARN for?  Make it your most EXCELLENT of work, and always SITUATE it for SUCCESS (or do-able).  

again…

Y.E.S. Goal:

What is it you YEARN for?

Make it your most EXCELLENT of work,

and always SITUATE it for SUCCESS.

Here’s my rewrite:  Today I write a passionate and honest blog about goals vs. yearnings and I am personally committed to reaching 100 people by Tuesday January 12th because what I write, I care about, and what I share, I live.

Here’s the original: It is January 10th 2016 and I am happily celebrating having shared this blog with 100 people.

Which one would be worth your heart, effort and energy to achieve?  Which one isn’t an achievement at all but rather a compelling decision to live fully?

Here’s to you and all that fires you up.

TinaOLife Twitter

 

xxT

A Face, Heart and a Dream

A Face heart

Tonight a handful of team members from my network marketing biz are gathering at Xenia Retreat Centre​ for a Mastermind Retreat away into their business and their lives.

We’ll eat (always). We’ll talk (of course) about how we can live more healthfully and passionately. We’ll dig in (needed) to the areas of our business that are clunky and beg for attention. We’ll get clear about what goals/targets/intentions really matter to us and what we’re willing to truly show up for this year. We’ll sharpen our skills (stretch always) and we’ll take on this live/work balance conundrum that is so personal to each of us. We’ll lift each other up because it’s often easier to see greatness in others before we can see it in ourselves.

It’s just another day at the office – rich and challenging because none of us ‘have’ to go to this work, we choose it instead. Wow, it’s so much easier to procrastinate our way out of that isn’t it? It’s a business of people, as in we get paid when we sell stuff to people and when we nurture and coach people too (which isn’t everybody’s natural skill set and it takes time to learn) – makes it complicated. A lot of us struggle with getting paid when there’s ‘people’ involved! ack! How can that be fair or honest? Here’s the thing I’ve learned over a decade in the industry, it’s actually the most honest work I can do. When there’s a face, a heart, a dream, or a family on the other side of what I do, it is my deep privilege to show up. These are people after-all, not faceless ‘team members and prospects’. Crazyyyy but my best friends have come from this business. These are the people who have walked through personal and professional fires with me and I with them. I don’t need to get paid for that, but wow, what an illogical bonus that I do.

Whatever you do for a living, my wish for every single one of us is that wherever you are Monday to Friday and beyond, that you’re part of a community, you belong, you love and are loved. That’s real wealth.

TinaOLife Twitter

 

xxT