GRIT. Got some?

Grit Got Some

 

I didn’t know that my kids would be like other people’s kids.  My eldest two are in or approaching their teen years and motherfudrucker are they ever doing what teens do.  It’s a nasty stage to parent through yet such an important one for them because this is where they either grow grit or not, and then they suffer the consequences of not knowing how to pick themselves up out of the mud later in life.

And as we know, there’s a lot of mud to come.

Here’s a snippet of what happened in my family this morning.  I wrote it for my ‘downline’ (network marketing jargon for team) because I recognized how insanely similar this is to the lessons we’re called on to learn in our business. I hope it speaks to you as it seems to have spoken to my team.

Very interesting experience with my teenage son this morning. It made me think of our business and what it takes to design, get, and live a life we love. Here’s what happened:

We have a rule in our house, ‘as soon as it gets too hard to get up for hockey, hockey goes away’ – and right off the hop, since the boys were 7/8yrs old, they’ve been able to get up, sometimes as early as 4:30am to get on a 5:30am boat for a 6am practice. No kidding. Cold, tired and hungry… Yet off they would go.

So flash ahead 6 years and my eldest is now 14yrs and is in high school. He is often home later after his games, like 10pm and then the next morning he’s up for school at 6:30am to catch the bus at 7:05am. This morning (and multiple others this year) he had refused to get up saying ‘I’m too tired’. He’s 6’2 and 180lbs with his own mind, his own convictions, and his own chutzpah. I don’t believe in ‘making kids do anything’ anyway (unless the issue is human decency), but the truth is, I couldn’t make him get up now even if I tried.

Soooooo… I realized, this kid CAN get up, he does it all the time. He has a TRACK RECORD of doing what is challenging, he’s simply choosing not too because he doesn’t WANT TO. The REWARD or the REASON isn’t compelling enough. So… Given all of our ‘What’s your WHY?’ training, I decided to up the ante on his ‘why’. On my 5th attempt to get him out of bed, I said, ‘Mister, this has to stop. Here’s the deal, for every morning that you are like this, you lose a practice. You have two minutes to get up or there’s no hockey tomorrow.’

He didn’t get up.

What the Truck?

I go back in and do the thing I would NEVER DO in a coaching conversation. I implore with him: ‘Why would you do that? Why would you choose being tired over playing hockey? It’s worth so much to you. Why would you choose to be right about how stupid it is to go to school when what you’ve worked so hard for over the last six years hangs in the balance? Why would you do that??? Help me to understand because I don’t LOVE hockey, I love you.

He says to me: because I’m tired.

Classic.

In our business, the response is different but the same, it sounds like this: ‘Because it doesn’t seem to work for me’

Also Classic.

His dad has now been texted in because he’s on his way to work already (now 6:55am). He sends this: No school, no Maple Ridge on Friday (Game).

I walk back in to his room (which I often do in our our biz too… I walk back in) and tell him the news. – An exasperated GROAN comes from under the covers as he knows he really has no choice now. Well he does have a choice, just not one he’s willing to make. He’s backed into a corner because IT JUST GOT REAL.

The phone rings. It’s his dad. I hand him the phone.

‘I don’t want to talk to dad, he’s just going to yell at me’.

I say: ‘Listen dude… You made this bed, you don’t get to opt out of respecting your father. You don’t have to like what he has to say, or even agree with it, but you do have to listen.’

I leave the room.
He listens, hangs up, gets up and in 9 minutes gets himself dressed, packed and fed and out the door.

No he’s not talking to me.
No he’s not happy.
Yes he is honouring his CONVICTION to play hockey by doing what is least pleasant to him.

Here’s what I see, some of us are pleasers, others avoiders, some are team players, others loners, we do what we do for personal reasons and we choose to get back into the ring to go another round FOR WHAT MATTERS TO US, but only and I mean only WHEN IT GETS REAL and unfortunately, as is the way with the human experience, the magic only happens when our backs are against the wall. Oh boy.

Sooooo back to business… What we have is the brass ring. There is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING else out there like this that MOST PEOPLE can do to get the kind of return that comes with this biz model.

High pay for low time
High freedom for low responsibility
High friendship, lifetime friendships, deep meaningful walk through fire kinds of friendships without having to give up who you are.
A life first job without having to give your own life up in the process.

No education needed
Low investment needed

So when it feels hard for you to ‘do the do’, ask yourself, ‘what would have to happen before I was willing to REALLY do it? When would I cross the line into true LIFE LEADERSHIP and be willing to be the last person standing to make this business a success?

Unless of course you don’t really want what you said you came for… But I doubt it.

I said to Todd when it all blew over, this lesson were in with our son right now has NOTHING to do with HOCKEY, and everything to do with building the GRIT it takes to DO THE DO in order to LIVE YOUR LIFE on YOUR TERMS and not the terms of others.

Sometimes you have to get in to the ring with yourself in order to win.

Thinking of you.
Thinking of your grit.
Seeing your magnitude.
And holding you accountable to your WHY.

And the same with me.
Me too.
I’m just like you.

Some days I’d rather just say I’m too tired. But where will that get me?

It’s okay to be tired when you are. It’s not ok to be tired when there’s still life and will and Fire and a want inside of you. Some days you just gotta dig a little deeper.

Xxxt

So, I ask you. Do you have grit?  Are you willing to be the last one standing to have what really matters to you?  What is it going to take?

TinaOLife

xxT

 

 

 

Is Your Knowledge on Ice?

Is your knowledge on ice

Ignorance on fire is better than knowledge on ice, or so they say.  This success strategy has served me well for a long time but has cost me dearly for an even longer one.

My whole life I’ve been a dive into the unknown kinda gal.  I do my best work in anything and everything I do when I know the least.  I race to the top in whatever I do and faster than most because I am very comfortable wearing Steve Jobs’ Reality Distortion Field and keeping my head down, my eye on the prize and look only at what I’m doing.

When I don’t know what I don’t know, there’s nothing to tell me that I can’t leaving only possibility.  This has been a brilliant results oriented success system for me.  From the outside everything looks great:  I do, I achieve, I am applauded, and then I move on. Wait a minute… that’s the kicker right?  The trap of this kind of success formula is that there’s little desire further the work once I’ve nailed the goal.  Why? Because I’m no longer ignorance on fire.  I’m now knowledge on ice, with no motivation to get warm.  And then it gets cold, freaking cold, like anxiety driven, worry filled night kinda cold as I sort out:

What do I do now that I know what I know?

How do I feed this success animal I’ve built on ignorance when my eyes are open to the whole picture now?

You may have heard this before too because I didn’t come up with it, and the person who taught it to me probably didn’t either:

Stage one = Uninformed optimism Stage two = Informed

Stage three is usually = Informed pessimism. 

Why usually?  Because it takes walking the double edge sword of all things in order to get to informed optimism.  It takes converting informed on both the positive and the negative side of it to give you wisdom.  Most of us just want the shortcut.  We don’t want wisdom. We want results.  We serve the bottomline or the adrenaline of achievement, or the satisfaction of belonging because we’re ‘worthy’ due to our accomplishment.  Come on now, ‘fess up.  Why do you go for challenges and incentives?  Why do you take risks?  What is usually your motivation for diving into the unknown?

You might say:  Because I’m curious Tina.  I’m a life-long learner.    

I say:  Cool.  Then what?  How do you let that learning LIVE?

For most of my professional life (up until now), I’ve been happily doing and achieving as ignorance on fire.  Wow… what a rush. There’s always something new to learn, the excitement of the unknown and then the reward of figuring shit out.  You could feed me this recipe for breakfast, lunch and dinner and all deserts and drinks too.  I EAT THIS UP!

But then I get a stomach ache. I’m frozen by what I’ve learned.  I can see the pot holes, the areas of growth that are needed, the dark corners and the stinky stuff that if cleaned up would make things even better.  Oh mannnn why do that when ignorance on fire has such a higher return?  Why implement anything I’ve learned when I can just go on learning new stuff?

I’m in the network marketing industry and this is a slogan that is thrown around at every ‘getting started’ training out there.  As organization builders in a sales and recruitment based business, our bottomline and our team’s confidence go up when we have new people starting their business with us.  We WANT FRESH FACES because it reminds us that this opportunity rocks, and you know what – it freaking does rock.  Ten years in, with all the knowledge I have and very little ignorance left, I can say without a shred of holding back, this is the best industry going out there if:

  1.  you wanna make lots of money with low risk or overhead.
  2. you wanna work part time.
  3. you like people
  4. you’re a life long learner.

But here’s the deal:  You gotta let go of the ignorance on fire thing and ditch the knowledge on ice thing too if you really want to enjoy the fruit.  Malcolm Gladwell talks about 10,000 hours to mastery.  Well, that’s about 7 years in a 15 hour/week network marketing business.  You sure as heck ain’t gonna be ignorance on fire for seven years.

Like any long term venture be it business, friendship, marriage, career, personal growth, whatever… the TRUTH of that story will always out over time and that means that the veil of ignorance will lift and knowledge with set in.   Nothing is without dark corners.  Nothing is without improvement needed.  Nothing is perfect and that’s what makes the whole darn thing worth investing in.

So… if you buy this whole Ignorance on Fire is Better than Knowledge on Ice thing, I challenge you to step into WISDOM and see what kind of satisfaction, freedom and true wealth lives there instead.

My wish for you is true freedom, is peace, is long term success and feeling good about what you do.

What to check out my network marketing business?  You totally can.  Click here for an electronic business pack.  Why not?  You’re ignorance on fire for such a short time… wink.  

TinaOLife

 

xxT

 

 

A Face, Heart and a Dream

A Face heart

Tonight a handful of team members from my network marketing biz are gathering at Xenia Retreat Centre​ for a Mastermind Retreat away into their business and their lives.

We’ll eat (always). We’ll talk (of course) about how we can live more healthfully and passionately. We’ll dig in (needed) to the areas of our business that are clunky and beg for attention. We’ll get clear about what goals/targets/intentions really matter to us and what we’re willing to truly show up for this year. We’ll sharpen our skills (stretch always) and we’ll take on this live/work balance conundrum that is so personal to each of us. We’ll lift each other up because it’s often easier to see greatness in others before we can see it in ourselves.

It’s just another day at the office – rich and challenging because none of us ‘have’ to go to this work, we choose it instead. Wow, it’s so much easier to procrastinate our way out of that isn’t it? It’s a business of people, as in we get paid when we sell stuff to people and when we nurture and coach people too (which isn’t everybody’s natural skill set and it takes time to learn) – makes it complicated. A lot of us struggle with getting paid when there’s ‘people’ involved! ack! How can that be fair or honest? Here’s the thing I’ve learned over a decade in the industry, it’s actually the most honest work I can do. When there’s a face, a heart, a dream, or a family on the other side of what I do, it is my deep privilege to show up. These are people after-all, not faceless ‘team members and prospects’. Crazyyyy but my best friends have come from this business. These are the people who have walked through personal and professional fires with me and I with them. I don’t need to get paid for that, but wow, what an illogical bonus that I do.

Whatever you do for a living, my wish for every single one of us is that wherever you are Monday to Friday and beyond, that you’re part of a community, you belong, you love and are loved. That’s real wealth.

TinaOLife Twitter

 

xxT

Come in From the Cold

NWTinaO Come inBW

Yes I’m in the network marketing industry but this isn’t a pitch because that would be dumb.  You’re way smarter than that.  And let’s be straight here – your ‘salesperson sniff test’ would have my offer hung on a hook over your fireplace so fast I wouldn’t even have a chance to squeak out my why story.  Let’s be real here.  The scent of a seller can be picked up from miles away.

Two of my sons are at that age where career choices shouldn’t even be in their consciousness, but it is.  They are fourteen and twelve.  Let me ask you, when you were a teenager did you give two licks about how you would want to spend 40-60 hours per week trading time for money? No.  You had a dream (if you were lucky), you may have had a whiff of a passion (if you were blessed that way), and you may have even figured out a couple of things that set you apart from your fellow students (if your parents or teachers saw it in you).  But honestly, could you foresee that you would be doing what you are doing right now, back then?   And would your profession today have made you want to buckle down at fifteen years old to get good grades in order to do it?

For a small percentage of us – the answer might be yes, but it’s complicated isn’t it? Getting to where you are today, even if you are totalllllllly fulfilled and in your ‘Vein of Gold’ as Julia Cameron calls it, was likely not as simple a process as earning As and Bs in grade ten. For a large percentage of us, our j.o.b. has nothing to do with our dreams or our passions, but instead has become that thing we do j.b. (just because).

I think J.O.B.’s are given a bad rap in the network marketing industry.  I think running your own direct sales organization, serving clients and supporting new team members to reach the heights of their potential is also a j.o.b. and it’s just as challenging, time consuming, frustrating and as wildly fulfilling (often more so) as it is to go to ‘work’ each day.

I started in this industry over ten years ago and while, just like any j.o.b., I’ve loved it, been frustrated, been enamoured and crushed, felt purposeful and useless, been side-swiped and blessed… this is my j.o.b. and shhhh… listen closely because I’m going to whisper this… selling and recruiting is not my passion.  Sometimes I feel like I’m bad-mouthing the industry when I admit that selling isn’t my “it” because there is such a push out there these days to Live Your Passion, to Be Your Genius, to never Sell-Out on your Dreams… Here’s my big aha that smacked me silly a few years back:  Why did I ever believe I had to choose?  When did having a job = bad, and living a dream = good?   What if having them both = peaceful?  = happy?  Being a network marketer is my skillset and not my soulset.  It requires my mindset to flex positively like a muscle I’ve trained to respond, and this j.o.b. asks only of my body that it do what it’s designed to do: eat for fuel, sleep for repair and breathe to live.   It’s not romantic or dreamy eyed, yet it’s warm and it’s just as real as any job I’ve ever had.

The network marketing industry isn’t weird, it isn’t a cop-out, and it sure isn’t a short cut either.  It’s a j.o.b. just like everything else we can do to earn an income.  I love it because it fits me.  Would I have chosen this as a profession in grade ten?  Ummm absolutely not.  Would I have studied for it in college?  Are you kidding me?  No no no no no… most definitely not.  Funny eh?  Somehow I ended up here and this overlooked, highly judged and wildly misunderstood industry has grown me up like nothing else I’ve ever done has.

In it’s simplicity, network marketing or direct sales is just another way for people to come in from the cold.  I earn a good, honest living, and my needs are being met.  I’m peaceful and that’s all that truly matters to me.

TinaOLife Twitter

 

xxT