Why Write? – VIDEO

September 18, 2017

Do you write for the love of language?

Do you write to learn?

To fall in?

To discover?

Why do you write?

Let’s keep this really simple. Meribeth and I write because it’s how we connect with ourselves, with you, and with the world. Language is like oxygen for us. Writing is Breathing. Writing is your birthright.

Seriously, it is.

Here are some thoughts we shared under an umbrella on a rainy day on the West Coast. We’re a little pixelated because this started out as a Facebook Live so it’s been downloaded and uploaded a few times… but hey, it’s not about how we look, it’s about the message right?

What is important for you to claim, to understand, to share, to experience, to love, to deepen with?

Here’s to YOU and YOUR WRITING…

with support,

TinaO & Meribeth

TinaO and Meribeth Deen are the creators of The Writer’s Compass, a method of writing that encourages being lost as a way to create, connect and deliver writing from the core. Want to join in our online writing group? Check out our Private Facebook Group: Core Story Writers here. You can also find our programs: WRITE and PUBLISH on The Leap Learning Lab.

Pay What You Can and Pay it Forward to Live Your Best Story – VIDEO

July 21, 2017

I didn’t get to where I am in life by doing all of the heavy lifting myself. The truth is, almost every significant experience, and I do mean life changing, has come to me through a leg up. I have rarely, if ever had a breakthrough in my professional or personal life getting there on my own. For real.

Sometimes my social conditioning gets the better of me and I can feel embarrassed about it. I too hear things in my head like:

If it’s meant to be it’s up to me.
Raise the bar.
or this ugly one, raise the bar – trim the fat.
The cream will rise to the top
Your only limit is you
I can and I will
It never gets easier, you just get better

But my experience has always been this:

If it’s meant to be, ask for help
Raise your bar by receiving the gifts coming your way
Raise the bar of humanity by allowing everybody in
Your only limitation is your unwillingness to lift and be lifted
I can because we will
Community makes things easier

I grew up in rental housing. My dad fell apart after our mom died and when he was laid off in his 50s he never recovered emotionally or financially, leaving the many of us (blended family of 11 – some at home, some not) to get by on my step-mom’s slightly above minimum wage bakery lady pay. The only reason I did, or had anything was because one, I worked for it and two, people helped me and three, I understood what it felt like to be grateful.

I somehow missed the pride gene around this stuff because I didn’t seem to care when someone bought me lunch, I said thank you instead. I wasn’t ashamed to wear my sister’s hand-me-downs. Are you kidding? I was thrilled to wear her grown up stuff! I learned how to get by on busfare in my pocket, and if I didn’t have that, how to walk and read at the same time (and walk I did!). My practice was: yes please, thank you and what can I do to help?

And I didn’t feel like a charity case either.

Weird right?

Well, not to me.

The first act of kindness I remember learning from was just after my mom passed. I’m pretty sure it had happened only weeks before and my grade three class was going to Stanley Park. The field trip was really kinda no big deal but the student teacher, Ms. Soleil was. She was the first one to show me what lifting others looks like. After a long day at the beach and hanging with the geese, we were on our way back on the public bus when one of my classmates, Sukvinder was targeted. He was only eight years old, and two young men flipped his melting icecream cup over on his head because of his ethnicity. Our South Vancouver neighbourhood was changing and the once uuber white community was rapidly welcoming an influx of East Indian and Asian families. You know what I remember about my childhood? I didn’t see skin colour. I didn’t notice hair texture. I didn’t register differences. I had friends. That’s it that’s all. So when Sukvinder was picked on by a bunch of teenagers, I couldn’t make sense of it. I was shocked and totally spellbound by Ms. Soleil’s response. She stood up like a super-hero with a furrowed brow and laser eyes, and with fierce, active indignation, she marched those racist boys off the bus so fast they didn’t know what was happening. She was awesome, and her protection of Sukvinder’s self-esteem left a lasting impression on me.

Her action said to me We are all worthy.

She’s also the teacher who sent me home with a photo from that day with a note on the back saying “what a pleasure you are to teach and I’m so sorry about the passing of your mom”. She was the only teacher who said anything. I remembered that. She wasn’t afraid to acknowledge, or to lift.

Because of this and so many more countless situations where I was the kid, or the grown up who couldn’t figure out how to make it work – and yet was still offered an opportunity to rise up, I’ve never really had an attachment to the belief of CAN or CAN’T. I won’t say I’m an eternal optimist, because trust me, I’m not. I’m wicked skeptical. I don’t believe in rules though I do recognize them. I don’t follow deadlines, though I’m aware of them. When someone says you’re not allowed, I think, really? We’ll see.

It’s not that I’m cocky (though I can be),

or that I’m irresponsible (though trust me, I can be that too).

It’s not that I’m contrary (though it can look like that),

or that I refuse to follow the rules (I just don’t sometimes).

It’s not that I think I’m above it or that I live in some kind of Steve Jobs reality distortion field (I wish!).

It’s just that my experience has always been LIFE MOVES when WE DO.

Sometimes, there’s a way.

Sometimes, there’s a hand.

Sometimes, you can even when it looks like you can’t.

That’s been my experience.

For this reason, Live Your Best Story, a weekend retreat reconnecting you back to your own voice of timeless wisdom has always been made accessible to anyone who wants to come. The weekend, created and facilitated by Nicolle Nattrass, Carolyn Nesbitt and I, and held at Xenia Retreat Centre on Bowen Island is now starting it’s fifth year. As such, we’re ready to make our accessible pricing official.

New Pricing for Live Your Best Story

#1 PAY WHAT YOU CAN (with a $100 non refundable deposit)

or #2 PAY IT FORWARD ($695)

and yes… you can pay what you can now and pay it forward later.

Here is how it works: for as little as a $100 non-refundable deposit or as much as $695, (and anything in between) you can book one of our 36 spots/year (we hold the retreat 3x with 12 participants in each weekend Oct/Feb/May).

I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor and here’s what I know about me, neither financial position was a reflection of whether I deserved something or not. Afford it? Maybe, maybe not, but deserve? No.

And I’m going to rattle a few cages here. The whole conversation about ‘if you want it you’ll find the money to make it happen’ – is part of an old paradigm which no longer serves us. While it’s original intention was to EMPOWER people to raise their head, square their shoulders and keep bravely stepping forward, it’s now become a way to price based on perceived worth or even worse, fear of not being worthy. The price points for work meant to help people is beginning to divide us. There are those who can afford personal development, and those who cannot. Or worse, there are those who are empowered enough to attract money into their lives, and those who are not. Yikes… stretch the concept a bit farther and we can get into the whole winner/loser perspective. I’m speaking with broad strokes here of course, but I think you follow me. Here’s a prime example (and I usually like Brian Tracy):

Who wants to be a part of that kind of divisive and disempowering conversation? The way I see it, we’re the ones throwing ice cream now – only our target is the loser who is choosing not to ‘start’.

Here’s what I see… some people sell stuff at a price more than my mortgage or monthly grocery bill for a family of five. It’s not that their product isn’t WORTH the price – it’s not about worthiness at all. It’s about accessibility, and as someone who values deeply those who have lifted me, I’d like to fan the flames on that kind of practice.

BTW – Accessibility is not about charity, it’s offering a hand.

and it’s not about rescuing either, it’s about creating a space.

Because time and time again I’ve been on the receiving end of such grace and as such, I get it. Now it’s my turn.

On Friday night at Live Your Best Story we always open with “and my wish for you this weekend is…”, and so today, my wish for all of us is to offer more accessibility in our pricing out there. What if we started asking: How can I help more? How can I serve more? How can I offer what I do in a way that honours as many people as possible AND myself.

Now that’s abundance: many, more, all – not just some. There’s no scarcity thinking here.

Imagine if our pricing wasn’t a reflection of ”worth”, but rather of our humanity.

That sounds pretty worthy to me.

You?

Want to check out REGISTRATION DETAILS for Live Your Best Story? We only host the retreat three times per year with a maximum of 12 spots per retreat or 36 spots/year.

You can place your $100 deposit now and choose your dates later! Click here for more about the weekend, and click here to register.

TinaO is a Core Story Specialist and a Program Director of PUBLISH with Meribeth Deen for The LEAP Learning Lab. She’s a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub to Live, Give and Be Your Story, plus the deep listening weekend retreat Live Your Best Story. She’s been in the PR and Marketing world since she could put words together and has been a professional network marketer for over twelve years. She teaches: selling isn’t slimey, marketing isn’t make-believe and writing won’t give you an aneurysm (it’s not hard). You can be yourself in all that you do. In fact, that’s what the world is waiting for.

Why I Love Jake Hassel-Gren a TinaO List to Love – BLOG

May 14, 2017

We make some people harder to love because they defy our societal and cultural norms. They’re pure. They don’t mince expectations with filtered down possibilities so everyone else is comfortable. They don’t stop to give you their spot in the sun because they know we all have one. They think: Why create shade when there’s enough heat for all?

That’s Jake.

She’s highly misunderstood, and it’s precisely what I love about her. What you see is who she is and what she wants for you is everything. Tricky to believe these days: someone who actually wants the best for you because she understands what it is.

And therein lies the rub.

Her standards are high.

She comes by it honestly. She was raised that way (but that’s next week’s story). Here’s a glimpse though. I can’t help myself.

“My parents are truly incredible human beings. They exposed me to life across it’s multiple landscapes. I had it all. During the week, life in a fine home with velvet curtains and stunning design and then weekends running barefoot in the grass with scads of artists and hippies. There was no room for judgement in my life, only experiences. My parents gave us and showed us what the best truly is: a full and confident life.”

No wonder I liked her immediately even though I wasn’t sure I should. She challenged me right from the get-go. There was no nicey-nicey dumbing it down small-talk. She asked what I did. I told her I’m a Core Story Specialist. I help people articulate exactly who they are and intrinsically, why they do what they do.

And she got it.

“Cool”, she said. And that was it.

I liked that.

She didn’t offer any polite ‘filler’ conversation. She just moved on to what was next.

What you see is who she is and what she wants for you is everything.

I’ll come completely clean on this one, we work together now and I offered to write this article because I feel lucky to know her. Holy Hannah and mutha of all that is F-bomb sacred, Jake Hassel-Gren has a MASSIVE VISION for female entrepreneurs. She (and I) can drop more F-bombs than a bus load of 14 year olds on Dorritos. The difference is kids do it ’cause they can, and she does it ’cause sometimes it’s called for. Some moments deserve a capital F in the front with a big ole K at the back.

The truth is though, as much as I send her up now, I completely couldn’t figure her out when we first met. “I’ll connect you with my friend Jake”, said Charlene SanJenko of PowHERhouse Women’s Media Group to me last August. “She’s the woman behind The LEAP Learning Lab. You two can talk about building a program to help women bring their book from concept to publish-ready. Jake is as tired as you and I are of seeing women continue to work in silos. We have to change how we do things and Jake’s LEAP Learning Lab is all about that.”

Where does she live? I asked.

“Toronto”, said Charlene.

Oh gawd I thought, not another perfectly coiffed Toronto woman to snicker at my hippy hair and make snide comments about my closet full of Crocs. Sure… let’s talk. I thought. We’ll see.

We got on a video chat in September and in perfect post summer form, I had sun-fried frizzy hippy hair and was still bumbling around with beach brain struggling to finish complete thoughts and sentences as we shared big ideas about what would make the lives of female entrepreneur’s easier AND more powHERful. Jake, once upon a time a VP in the banking world, now an entrepreneur on a mission to create a global, world class online Community of Practice for women and set a platinum standard for online learning, showed up exactly as she is: stunning, primed and ready for anything.

I’m going to write another piece about Jake next week. This is just the beginning. It’s going to take a lot more than one article to capture this woman’s story. I spent a few hours on the phone with her doing what I do best, which is pulling together who she is at the Core so I can understand why she cares so deeply about women taking their spot, as she calls it.

For today though, my focus is on WHY Jake rather than WHO is Jake. I want you to know why I decided to hitch my online learning wagon to LEAP, and you know me, my reasons always have less to do with business and everything to do with the person. A long time ago, in an entrepreneurial class I took in my early twenties, the teacher at the front of the room said “never do business with someone you wouldn’t have over for dinner”. That truth has stayed with me. So here’s a bit about Jake and why I think she’s pretty dang spectacular.

TinaO’s Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Jake Hassel-Gren.

Do women even say that about women anymore? I do.

#1 – She’s wicked, and every other totally awesome and righteous word I used in the 80’s. Remember how the 80’s defied logic? There was only one direction, and it was UP. That’s how it feels to work beside Jake. We’re going somewhere and it’s gonna be florescent green, Madonna awesome.

#2 – She likes dogs. Seriously, her dogs have matching winter jackets and she’d never treat them like an accessory though they will look fantastic. She’s a ‘small dog’ parent and yes she does post funny dog videos on Facebook.

#3 – She speaks artist. Okay, I’m stretching the truth a little (maybe a lot). She doesn’t actually SPEAK artist, but she FEELS artist which is harder and far more vulnerable to do. I couldn’t hang with this chick if we didn’t connect in this way.

#4 – She wears red lipstick like it’s a signature. Red is primary. It isn’t made from something else by anything else. Perfect.

BTW, it’s Chanel. I asked.

#5 – She can flip you the bird while screaming your praises. Expression is like that. It’s a full contact sport. Jake does life out loud and what she doesn’t say with her words, she’ll tell you with her eyes.

#6 – It took less than 3 seconds for my phone to ring when I told her about my sister passing. Not a text. She phoned. Who calls anyone anymore? Jake.

#7 – She asks “How are you?” at least twice a week. In her world of ‘best’, of ‘do’, of ‘be’ she still finds the time to connect with those she cares about. She says things like “I was thinking about you today. How did your doctor’s appointment go?”, or “How are you holding up?”, and “Do you need anything?”. Again, I ask you, how many people do you have in your life who do that regularly?

#8 – She calls me out on my greatness and I’m not talkin’ blowing sunshine up my butt. It’s not about compliments, it’s about saying what is so. She’s the first to say “You know that. You do that. You are that.” – When she says it, I believe it. When I say it, I talk myself out of it. I’d rather listen to her.

#9 – She loves football. Okay, so I grew up with too many brothers and I can’t stand watching sports on tv or in an arena, but I frickin’ love that she’s over-the-top, beyond-all-understanding, geeked-out C R A Z Y about The New England Patriots. I gotta respect that kinda passion you know?

#10 – When I asked her what is ‘home’ for her, and what is her greatest medicine? She said LOVE.

Jake is a big game of life player. She gets up every morning and asks: How can I be of service today? Some of us are harder to understand because our whole package doesn’t match the stories set up and made-up by others on the outside. Jake is like that.

I thought she was tough. She is.

I thought she was an uncompromising high achiever. She is.

I thought she was opinionated, driven and sharp. She is that too.

I thought she cared about success. She does.

Yours.

and Hers.

and Mine.

Because in Jake’s world, you don’t have to step into the shade to give someone else a piece of the sun.

The best is meant for all of us, and a woman need only stand and claim her spot to know that for herself.

This is PART ONE of TinaO’s Exclusive on Jake Hassel-Gren. Watch for Jake’s Core Story in PART TWO coming out next week. For more about Jake’s LEAP Learning Lab, you can visit her site.

Core Story Writing Prompt – Where the Wild Things Are – VIDEO

April 20, 2017

Our communication is only ever as powerful as the core we’re willing to plug into. It’s kind of like saying a team is only as strong as it’s weakest link or, the strength of how you start ‘off the block’ often sets up the fire of how you finish. Writing from the core is like being powered straight from the source. It takes courage and muscle and a lot of practice. Using writing prompts can help with that.

Every week in my Core Story Club (which I run with my writing partner Meribeth Deen), we post a weekly writing prompt. Today’s is inspired by Maurice Sendak’s book, Where the Wild Things Are which I read as a child and loved so much so that I had to find it and read it to my three boys as they grew up.

Remember this?

I swear I can still smell the carpet in the library I first heard this in.

Sendak’s book won multiple awards including the 1964 Caldecott Medal, the most Notable Children’s Books of 1940-1970 (ALA), the 1981 Boston Globe-Horn Book Award for Illustration, the 1963 & 1982 Fanfare Honor List (The Horn Book), the Best Illustrated Children’s Books of 1963, 1982 (NYT), and the 1964 Lewis Carroll Shelf Award. It was later made into a stunningly evocative film in 2009 by the celebrated director Spike Jonze. I frickin’ love it.

Today, I’m asking you, if you were in the land of Where the Wild Things Are…

What would you do?

How would you live?

What might you say?

Where might you say it?

When might you care the most?

Who would you let yourself be?

Why would you roar?

Set your timer for 3 minutes and finish this sentence: Where the Wild Things Are I…

Keep going – do not cross out

Keep writing – do not erase

Keep breathing – do not crumple up

What does your story want to tell you today?

Here’s the thing… I never post without doing it myself, so here is mine.

I’m setting the timer now.

Ready… Set… now I Go…

Where the wild things are I write like a demon. Words spill out of me and I don’t hold back. Where the wild things are I can see full colour and I say the things that my heart wants to sing. The truth is, I feel like I live where the wild things are anyway. I kinda am a wild thing. Okay, so I’m not kinda a wild thing, I am one. I’m afraid of that sometimes. Truly. I wear red because it reminds me that I am that. I wear red because it has a beginning, a middle and an end and the world understands it. Okay, so true that people have opinions about women who wear red. Lady in Red. Revlon Red. Red nails. Oh my goodness that makes me think of Cheap Trick and that album cover with the red leather pants. I was only nine years old when that album came out. I had lots of opinions about women and men who wear red. I’m a wild thing and I hold on to my red purse, remember my red dock martins, eat red tomatoes and colour my hair red (well sometimes) when I’m brave enough to let the world know how wild I am. I like primary red. I like that you can’t blend it to make it. It just is. It’s red, wild and wonderful. I’m a wild thing – what can I say?

What do I learn from this?

RED is an expression of my core story even if it’s a secretive part for me. It’s how I share my wild self in a contained kind of way.

How might I use this?

Well… look at my logo. Interesting right?

Here’s another way to use these prompts. Our stories come through us in different ways. How I share my story as a writer is different than how I share as a speaker. I did this writing prompt as a vlog too. I still timed it. I still did the stream of consciousness thingy without filtering.

JOIN IN THE CORE STORY CLUB HERE

Private vs. Public Readiness to Share your Writing – VIDEO

April 14, 2017

The writing process is messy and it’s supposed to be. When you truly dive into a story and let all that you are jumble up with all that your story asks to be, there will be many times when you have no idea which end is up.

And this is good news. When this is your experience, it means you are on the path even if you think you’re lost in the woods.

You look up, flushed, and a bit out of sorts as if you’ve emerged from a deep dive and strangely peaceful even though you’re not sure where the shore is. This is what it feels like to write from your core. You nailed it: the last paragraph, page, stanza, totally delivered.

You get a bit of a rush. Your confidence spikes and your endorphins kick in. You decide to do the unthinkable: show it to someone. You practically leap over the sofa as your partner comes through the door and thrust your journal at him. “Read this. Tell me what you think”, you say. So he does. Then he looks at you funny. But not funny bad, funny weird. You know the face: polite cheeks just a little too high because of the tight smile, and the distant but encouraging eyes. Yes, he is being super friendly but you can read it all over him. He doesn’t get it.

You get that dropping full stop in your stomach. Your bum cheeks let go. You smile back and say “thanks” as he says “it’s good”.

Good.

Right.

Damage done. Your second guessing starts. You start to stagger and stammer through “I just started. I’m not sure exactly where I’m at yet. Really. Hey, thanks for looking at it. No really. I’m okay. Thanks for looking at it.”

Then what do you do?

You stop. Right?

Or maybe it’s like this: You’re writing something deeply personal. It might be a memoir piece. You might be capturing a sliver of your life that was treacherously difficult but because you lived through it and came through stronger for it you feel an intense desire to write about it. This horrendous thing which like a phoenix, you rose from the ashes as it blazed this knowing inside you: to whom much is given much is expected is WHY you feel compelled to share your story. And so you do. Bravely, courageously and unabashedly let us all in.

Again, this is good.

This IS what we write about.

Your instincts are bang on.

But then something happens.

You write about it instead of into it. You know what you want to say so you say it on purpose. You don’t know this, but your story is now dying a slow painful death inside of you. Because you are so clear about the impact you want to make you take us right to the target but lose us because we didn’t discover it with you. The painful details of your story begin to feel brutal and obvious instead of devastating yet transformative. Your journey takes on a caricature quality because it has become a vehicle to drive instead of a partner to navigate. As the reader, we’re now bored. We’re judging. We stop listening not because we don’t believe you, but because we can’t hear you. We hear your commentary instead.

Harsh right?

I wrote it to protect you from draining all the beauty out of something you treasure as sacred enough to make a difference by giving it away. I want you to have your dream. I want your story of survival into thriving to be protected and nurtured until it’s ready. I want that for you.

You see, your story has to live in order to connect. It has to sit with you as you write it like a mysterious loving friend who word by word lets you in on a precious secret. A part of your writing process is supposed to be unknown to you. We want to go with you as you discover the layers that live between the details, in the pauses, the breaths, and the moments of waiting. But a story needs to be ready for that. Sometimes we have to spend a lot of time alone first, being obvious and hard hitting with our words and images until our bruising heals and we no longer need to give our words away. That’s when we’re free. That’s when it’s time to let someone else in. We invite them we don’t need them.

There is a line between public and personal for every writer and it’s going to be different for you than it is for me. Here’s the way I think about it: Stories are like children and we’d never send them out into traffic without us – that is, not until they’ve grown up a bit.

Meribeth Deen and I had a good chat about this line today. This is what we came up with.

Want to join in to our Aspiring Author’s Core Story Club, you can do that here.

A Life Coach Walks into the ER… Writing Prompt – BLOG

March 23, 2017

I’m starting a Daily Writing Prompt series because I’ve noticed that so many in business don’t understand the value of what they do. Maybe you’re one of them. You probably think that you’re a consultant or a facilitator or a coach or a real estate agent, accountant… whatever, but you’re not. You’re so much more.

You’re a damn specialist. That’s what you are.

You’re an ER doctor of something awesome.

You have life-saving capabilities.

Okay, I know, you’re not parachuting into war zones with a case load of oxygen tanks behind you and I get that you’re not a front-line health care worker supporting people through a blood transfusion, but you ARE designed to give something radically unique and I’ll say it here… even transformative to your clients. Because if you didn’t, they wouldn’t pay you, they’d pay someone else.

This Writing Prompt is going to help you.

Here’s another one – clients do not choose you because you’re a good listener so please let that go. Lots of people listen well and most think they’re awesome at it. Did you know that every single core story consult I’ve given, the person on the other end of the phone tells me that being a good listener is what makes them special?

It’s not.

Also, clients do not choose you because you’re a great strategist. Toss that one out too. There are a zillion strategists out there who think they’re the bomb. I’m not saying you’re not, I am saying that we need to figure what KIND of success-strategy explosion you set off.

Lots of people are good at strategy. So?

Here’s a biggie: Clients do not come to you because you CARE. Can we please please please stop saying this? Here’s why: EVERY BUSINESS OWNER cares. No one goes into business if they don’t. Come on now, I still have days where a little tired voice in my head pleads with me: “Really Overbury? Really? Can’t we just make cookies and sit on the couch today?”. My answer is NO. You know why?Because I CARE. Every business owner cares. I’m not kidding, and guess what? Every single business owner I talk to tells me this as if it’s THE THING that sets them apart in the marketplace. It’s not.

Ready?

Breathe.

Here comes the truth:

No one cares that you care.

Your clients care about what THEY CARE about and maybe that’s you, but they need to find you first.

Here’s another doozy. Clients do not refer you because you ‘genuinely want them to succeed’. Their mother wants that for them too (well most do…) and she doesn’t get paid for it. Even if you promise them success, that won’t make them refer you either. Success does not create stark raving mad fans (but it does help).

If you think that guaranteeing success is what sets you apart, what do you think other business owners want?

Their clients to kinda succeed?
Maybe succeed?
Do-it-half-way-and-if-you-squint-just-so-you-can-kinda-pretend-they-succeed? No.

Every business owner wants to see their clients succeed. This is NOT what makes you special. This is NOT why people will refer you.

Trust me on this.

Listening, caring, success and results is the baseline. This is where you started, and if you’re not doing these four things you shouldn’t be in business anyway. Okay, I’m being blunt today. I have a reason and here it is:

You are an ER Doctor of something. It’s inside you. It’s part of how you’re designed.

Here’s what I know:

You came into the world with a personality you didn’t have to work for. You are designed to BE something.
Then you experienced a number of life-changing events that created a skill-set so you can DO something.
And somewhere in there you faced a bunch of challenging turning points that shaped your mind-set so you can GIVE something.

It’s one great big set-up and it’s one of the many narratives within your Core Story.

This is what I do.

This is what I’m a specialist at.

I’m an ER Doctor of Core Story Listening. I save people from dying with their words still locked up inside of them.

What are you an ER Doctor of?

Today TinaOLife begins Writing Prompts for Coaches, Consultants and Thought Leaders. Whether you classify yourself in one of these categories or not, come and play.

Here’s How:

Grab a piece of paper and a pen, (yes, please use a pen because it unlocks a very different part of your brain and story), a timer and the day’s prompt and begin.

Tell me what you notice.

What did you learn about the kind of ER Doctor and Business Specialist that you are?

Want my book?

Grab it here.

TinaO is a Core Story Specialist and a Program Director of PUBLISH with Meribeth Deen for The Leap Learning Lab. She’s a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub to Live, Give and Be Your Story, plus the deep listening weekend retreat Live Your Best Story. She’s been in the PR and Marketing world since she could put words together and has been a professional network marketer for over twelve years. She teaches: selling isn’t slimey, marketing isn’t make-believe and writing won’t give you an aneurysm (it’s not hard). You can be yourself in all that you do. In fact, that’s the world is waiting for.

Six Reasons Why Your Core Story is How We See and Hear you From Space – BLOG

March 22, 2017

Your Book and Message Will be Different.

Because Your Book will Make you Money and not just Cost Buckets of it.

You are smart. You are committed. You’ve done everything you’ve been told to do to ”level up” as they say. You have followed the lead generating system that everyone knows works and looks something like:

Build your network – Grow your audience
Offer a valuable optin – Grow your list
Have an irresistible offer – Convert your leads
Post two blogs per week – Drive traffic to your site
Write your book – Cultivate credibility

Am I right?

You’re doing it all.

You’re ticking off every box.

You’re a freakin’ rock star… but… nothing is happening right?

Or something is happening but it’s not enough and it’s certainly not what you thought.

Here’s why:

STORY.

Your CORE STORY.

and YOU.

When you paid big money for that marketing course, or the program with that proven formula to ‘write your book and be seen as an expert’, no one told you that the single most important ingredient in the whole darn this is your story, specifically your core story.

It’s not about:

a word count or reaching 90,000 words.
a compelling title.
ten key steps or five key steps to a great book (for those who like less as more).

It’s not the steps, it’s the story that lives within them.

It’s not writing your book, it’s telling the story.

Your client and audience only have three resources: time, money and energy. Whether you are a consultant, a coach, a thought leader or a CEO, when you put your book out into the market, you are asking your reader to spend all three of their precious resources with you. Write your book by a formula and I promise you you’ll get your book, but you’ll also lose your credibility and audience unless you write from your core.

Your core story is what connects you to your people. It’s what shakes you into their memory. It creates an imprint that they’re compelled to talk about. It’s what builds your ”tribe” as Seth and Simon say. Your story is the greatest vehicle of trust building that you have. Don’t waste it.

Here are the six parts to creating a Core Story of trust and impact. I’m going to help you because as the story teller you have a blindspot, and that is you. Your story is riddled with them and that’s why you need me and when I write, I need someone else. Our story deserves that level of love and respect.

Here are six ingredients to catapult your message and brand promise into the stratosphere. That’s my benchmark btw. I know we’ve hit gold when I can see and hear you from space. Until we get there, we’re not done.

Six Core Story Ingredients that will Catapult your Message and Promise into the Stratosphere

Your Innate Who
Your Urgent Why
Your Compelling How
Your Impactful Where
Your Profound What
Your Life Changing When

Pretty logical right? Sure, but I promise you, if you attack this list on your own, you’re going to get all clever about it and it will never work. Story is personal even if the details are not, the process always is.

I want your book, your message, your brand’s foundation to rest on these six solid pillars of a Core Story because:

I don’t want your book to collect dust in the closet, sitting in a box of hope.
I don’t want your marketing message to be thought of as shlock.
I don’t want your keynote to be forgotten and considered just one of one hundred other possibilities.
Most importantly, because this one really gets under my skin, I don’t want your book to cost you more money, than you’ll make from it.
I want your story to matter to the world in the same way it matters to you.

Here’s how I’m going to make sure this happens:

Here are TinaO’s Top Ten Core Story Principles to Being Seen and Heard from Space. Sounds silly right? But it’s not. Think local and act global right? It’s time to speak, write, work and share from the core of your story to create a lasting impression that people are willing to invest in. Enough already about making a difference… be the difference with your story.

Click here to receive TinaO’s Top Ten Core Story Principles.

It’s a PLAYBOOK.

I speak directly to you.

There is a workbook too.

I’m silly.

It’s direct.

It’s more than just a read, it’s an experience.

Let’s do this together.

You Matter, and so does your Story.

xxT

TinaO is a Core Story Specialist, a Program Director of PUBLISH with Meribeth Deen for The Leap Learning Lab, she’s a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub to Live, Give and Be Your Story, plus the deep listening weekend retreat Live Your Best Story. She’s been in the PR and Marketing world since she could put words together and has been a professional network marketer for over twelve years. She teaches: selling isn’t slimey, marketing isn’t make-believe and writing won’t give you an aneurysm (it’s not hard). You can be yourself in all that you do. In fact, that’s the world is waiting for.

Want my book? Get it here.

[madmimi id=504703]

Meribeth Deen on Patriarchy and Being Robbed of Our Stories – BLOG

March 13, 2017

At a recent event that could best be described as a women’s circle, the women participating were asked two questions in order to kick off the evening’s dialogue. First, introduce yourself not only by your name, but also by the names of your mother and grandmothers. Second, state something you’ve done in your life that you feel proud of – in particular, what you’ve done to “fight the patriarchy” (those were not the words, but that was the jist of what was being asked.

I honestly felt stumped on both counts. Now partly that has to do with the fact that I absolutely freeze in any situation where I’m put on the spot and am asked to talk about myself (helloooo…. job interviews). Also, I couldn’t even name my paternal grandmother. Never mind the fact that I never met her… I should at least know her name. I should know more than the fact that she had A WHOLE BUNCH of kids and even adopted one or two, and that she was both short and stubborn. Really though I don’t know much more about my maternal grandmother even though she lived until I was 21 and yes I did know her name, oh it still shameful how little I know about her life.

My grandfathers, on the other hand, their stories shine. Stories of heroics, intelligence, ingenuity, determination and yes, a few less praiseworthy traits as well – but still, with all of those, stories, the memory of these men evoke a much more complete picture of the lives they lived.

It’s a great assignment, digging up the details of these women’s lives. And I am sure that by taking it on, so many of us women could end up revealing stories that would blow us away. Shedding light on the lives of women whose voices were so diminished compared to ours, we could start to see that we come from a long line of heroes.

We’ve been robbed of their stories, and we can reclaim them.

From their lack of stories, we can also begin to understand the value of our own stories. Our predecessors have fought hard for so many rights we now take for granted, and having a voice and the power to make our stories heard is one of them.

Which brings me to the second question, you know, the fighting patriarchy one. It’s been really hard for me – putting myself, my thoughts, out there publicly; and I am growing into the role. But now I realize, speaking up and trying to be heard and listened to, well that’s simply a woman’s responsibility.

Our stories matter. Your story matters. Take the leap and write it, your granddaughters will thank you.

If you are ready to position yourself as an expert, become a unique voice for your industry and build a residual income, it’s time to write your book so you can grow your audience, reach new markets, and fill your calendar with speaking gigs. It’s time for impact. It’s not about writing a story, it’s about writing yours. Welcome to PUBLISH, a three phase book writing program that brings your story from concept to publish ready.

**Every Wednesday we host a Publish Ready Master Session at 3pm (pacific time). We hope you’ll join us on any of these following days:**

March 15, 22, 29 and April 5

CLICK HERE to Register for Wednesday’s 3pm PST PUBLISH Master Session (to April 5th)

Meribeth Deen is a Journalist and a Story Producer. She’s a program director of PUBLISH on The Leap Learning Lab. She’s produced radio documentaries all over the world and brought the stories of whistle-blowers at Guantanamo Bay to the screen. She goes to where the truth lives. She’s kind, process oriented and believes that when writing, you need to get lost in order to find the point.

Meribeth Deen on Why your Book Matters – BLOG

February 22, 2017

Your book. Yes, the one that’s you’re writing in your head. The one that you tell your confidantes about, the one that you know will be great, if you ever get around to writing it.

There are so many reasons not to: a lack of time, not being sure of how to actually take the first steps, you’re insecurity about the way the words you put on the page sound… and then of course, the best excuse of all: you question, do books even matter these days anyway? This is the question I want to answer right now, and the answer is YES, they do matter. And yes, YOUR book matters.

Writing it, is your chance to state your case across party lines, across time, space, race and sex.

Your book is an opportunity to connect, to make an impact. You don’t know who you’ll make an impact with, and you don’t know what the impact will be (although some educated guessing can help in the writing of your marketing plan).

But when you write with integrity, you can move forward with a “strong spine and open heart” to field whatever questions, conversations and criticisms may come your way.

Your book, the one that you know will be great, if you ever get around to writing it.

Your book is an opportunity for growth – you don’t have to be right, and someday you may look back and think how very wrong you were, but you wrote with honesty and so you will honestly own up to having moved on to a new perspective. The book will simply be a record of who you were when you wrote it, and that’s a good thing. It will give you something to measure yourself against.

Why write a book? Because it won’t get lost in the digital ether, like this blog post.

See you in PUBLISH. Read on to find out how you can be on the VIP list to have first in line access for this exclusive program.

Meribeth

If you are a Canadian woman entrepreneur, leader, innovator, millennial or your business offers services to women in Canada we invite you to find out more about LEAP Learning Lab.We are a team of 10 fabulous Canadian women creating opportunities for other Canadian women to accelerate their success and their results across multiple disciplines. We also offer corporate learning solutions for businesses committed to the development of their women leaders.

We are looking for fabulous Canadian women to learn, live and lead with us. Collectively, through learning, we will make each other better humans.

Find out how this fabulous group of Canadian women can help you accelerate your results. CLICK HERE TO JOIN OUR VIP LIST for our upcoming VIP Summit Feb 28th and/or March 1st.

Meribeth Deen is a Journalist and a Story Producer. She’s produced radio documentaries all over the world and brought the stories of whistle-blowers at Guantanamo Bay to the screen. She goes to where the truth lives. She’s kind, process oriented and believes that when writing, you need to get lost in order to find the point.

TinaO’s Three Asks Per Day for Network Marketers – BLOG

February 2, 2017

I learned this a number of years ago when I first started my Network Marketing business: do 3 asks/day.

Ask what? I wondered.

Of course in those days we just asked for the booking, the sale, or the invitation to present the business opportunity, and so that’s what I did, over and over and over again, and boy did it work because the truth is, I rarely did just three. I always did ten or more. In doing so, I became very good at asking, in fact my ask muscle was so strong, I used to tell people that you’ll know you’re a master when you’ve grown a prospecting antennae in your brain. I would tell them this story:

You know how you can be standing at the checkout counter of your local drugstore in the mall but you can spot a lost child one hundred metres away? Somehow, even though it’s the end of the day, you’re busy running a guilty commentary in your head about eating a kitkat bar, all the while you’re thinking about tomorrow’s to do list, the work you didn’t get finished today and yet, bam… you can notice a lost kid across the mall. It’s as if your parent antennae flicks a switch and out of nowhere you are ready to do the 100 metre dash to help that child who is now wimpering over a football field away. That’s the antennae. Over time, I would say, with enough asking, you will build a prospecting antennae that can operate just like that: You will be able to spot a prospect 100 metres away.

And you do.

But then over even more time this will happen:

… when you quit your business, this is what you will tell me “I just couldn’t take it anymore. It was exhausting. I was looking at everyone knowing that I needed to ask them about my products and business because if I didn’t somebody else would.”

Have you ever told yourself that? “If I don’t ask them about my business someone else will”. In fact my favourite quote from the stage by a trainer about this is: “while you’re sitting at home figuring out what to say, I’m out there sponsoring your grandma!” – Yikes. Now there’s some adrenalized motivation. But it is funny. Oh man, I said that over and over and over to myself for months and it made me laugh every time.

If you’ve been in the network marketing industry for any amount of time you will have heard that concept, and if you haven’t, trust me, it’s coming. It’s almost a sales mantra out there. And here’s why: because it’s true. After twelve years into my business I can honestly say that I have lost count of the number of people “I missed out on” after they started with someone else because either I didn’t ask them, or because I did ask them but they didn’t want to do business with me. Oh the rejection…

And then you’ll tell me that you’re quitting because “it’s too heartbreaking”, or “I can’t take the rejection.”

So let’s blow this up shall we? As in, let’s throw a couple of sticks of truth-dynamite into this fear based prospecting style and start over okay?

As a Tall Poppy Network Marketer:

you do NOT take on fear based motivation, instead you follow a simple, sustainable system that produces results, and you follow it.
you do NOT prospect everyone that breathes, instead you introduce your product and business to those whom you would genuinely enjoy consulting and/or working with.
you do NOT attach your self-worth to your product or your business. When someone says no to you, you say, “thanks for telling me. I appreciate that. Here’s how you can find me if you ever have a change of heart and by the way, I do an annual holiday (or Mother’s Day, or Fitness etc…) campaign, can I be in touch with you about that? What is the best way for me to reach you? Email?”

As a Tall Poppy Network Marketer, you WILL follow a system of THREE ASKS/DAY, that’s it, that’s all.

Here’s why:

3 Asks/day takes only twenty minutes of time.

3 Asks/day = 15 asks/week

15 asks/week = 60 brand/product exposures

60 asks/week = a full calendar of bookings.

a full calendar of bookings = the building block business habit of your business.

In my business, my three asks per day are to fill my calendar with ten 30 minute one on one consultations over the phone/week (btw, that means 5 hours of business building activity) where I can ask them questions about what their interests are, tell my story, and offer some samples to try, or offer them a chance to check out my Facebook Group.

Once they’ve done that, I continue the conversation with two follow-ups / day which usually takes about 15 minutes / person and these are usually super casual, via facebook messenger or text (btw that’s 2.5 hours of business / week).

From there, twenty or so will actually want to buy something from me and of those twenty, ten will want something substantial.

And here’s what’s cool – since this method is ridiculously simply, totally relationship based, non-sales-weird, and has no adrenalin or rejection attached to it – these customers usually stay and so do I.

Three asks/day, that’s it, that’s all.

I’m a math person so here’s what it looks like for all of you numbers people out there:

3 ask/day = 60 asks/mth
which become 40 connections (30 minute calls) / mth
which become 20 sales / mth
which become 10 repeat customers / mth
which generates 2 or 3 people interested in my business.

These are good numbers don’t you think?

_____________________________________

TinaO is a Core Story Specialist and a Program Director of PUBLISH with Meribeth Deen for The Leap Learning Lab. She’s a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub to Live, Give and Be Your Story, plus the deep listening weekend retreat Live Your Best Story. She’s been in the PR and Marketing world since she could put words together and has been a professional network marketer for over twelve years. She teaches: selling isn’t slimey, marketing isn’t make-believe and writing your book won’t give you an aneurysm (it’s not hard). You can be yourself in all that you do. In fact, that’s the world is waiting for.

Curious about TinaO’s Network Marketing business? Contact me here. These comments are NOT public, they instead go directly to my email address which is tina@liveyourbeststory.com