Oh boy. These are not the days I usually write about. You know the ones… You have them too. You go to work and pretend to be doing stuff, pushing paper around, clicking pens, opening and closing drawers and going to the bathroom more times than your bladder requires you to. Or maybe you’re at home wandering around, loading the dishwasher, or thinking about it anyway, heating and reheating the same disgusting cup of coffee, pressing START on the microwave again… Perhaps you’re actually up and at it as I am. Yes I had a shower, well actually I drew myself a hot bath with unwind salts and bubbles, after I grabbed my latest Robin Sharma find from my local 2nd hand store and succumbed for a few minutes into the hot water and my nastily drab and dark mood. I gave over. I said:
‘okay bad mood, you’ve moved in today so I may as well hang out with you awhile’.
I’m dressed. I even put on tights and a tunic. I threw an old pair of heels into my purse (so old so so so old is it possible I’ve had them since 1995?) so I can head out to Vancouver Fashion Week later on after my son’s hockey game.
- But do I want to be here? Hell no.
- Do I want to be productive? Are you freakin’ kidding me?
- Do I care if my family eats dinner tonight? Nope. Not a bit.
I’m having as Alexander would say ‘a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day’. Yes I am, and I’m not even in Australia. (That’s not an Aussie slam, it’s a line from the book).
Why pretend? It’s just a crap day. The weather doesn’t have a clue what it’s doing. My youngest is getting yet another cold, my eldest is having a teenage temper tantrum about not getting the iphone6 (are you freaking kidding me? Get your head outta your…), and my middle child – well, he’s on the bench as the back up goalie today and I’m…
waiting.
I’m waiting.
I’m waiting.
For my mood to change, for the sun to come out, for tomorrow to come and rattle my boots and shake my teeth and pitch my resistant soul into the sky like a hot air balloon.
It’s a ‘nothing to say here’ kinda post except to remind me and you and everyone else the universal truth of being ALIVE that – ‘mama said there’d be days like this’.
So suck it up princess and be grateful you have a frickin’ voice in your body to connect to the world with.
Ah yes. See? I feel ever so lightly a bit better already. Thanks for listening. Truth is, for most of us, that’s all it takes to begin to believe that the next moment in front of us is worth opening our hearts for.
Self-indulgent sigh
Self-love sigh
The sound is the same isn’t it?
Xxt