February 2017 - TinaOLife

Meribeth Deen on Why your Book Matters – BLOG

February 22, 2017

Your book. Yes, the one that’s you’re writing in your head. The one that you tell your confidantes about, the one that you know will be great, if you ever get around to writing it.

There are so many reasons not to: a lack of time, not being sure of how to actually take the first steps, you’re insecurity about the way the words you put on the page sound… and then of course, the best excuse of all: you question, do books even matter these days anyway? This is the question I want to answer right now, and the answer is YES, they do matter. And yes, YOUR book matters.

Writing it, is your chance to state your case across party lines, across time, space, race and sex.

Your book is an opportunity to connect, to make an impact. You don’t know who you’ll make an impact with, and you don’t know what the impact will be (although some educated guessing can help in the writing of your marketing plan).

But when you write with integrity, you can move forward with a “strong spine and open heart” to field whatever questions, conversations and criticisms may come your way.

Your book, the one that you know will be great, if you ever get around to writing it.

Your book is an opportunity for growth – you don’t have to be right, and someday you may look back and think how very wrong you were, but you wrote with honesty and so you will honestly own up to having moved on to a new perspective. The book will simply be a record of who you were when you wrote it, and that’s a good thing. It will give you something to measure yourself against.

Why write a book? Because it won’t get lost in the digital ether, like this blog post.

See you in PUBLISH. Read on to find out how you can be on the VIP list to have first in line access for this exclusive program.

Meribeth

If you are a Canadian woman entrepreneur, leader, innovator, millennial or your business offers services to women in Canada we invite you to find out more about LEAP Learning Lab.We are a team of 10 fabulous Canadian women creating opportunities for other Canadian women to accelerate their success and their results across multiple disciplines. We also offer corporate learning solutions for businesses committed to the development of their women leaders.

We are looking for fabulous Canadian women to learn, live and lead with us. Collectively, through learning, we will make each other better humans.

Find out how this fabulous group of Canadian women can help you accelerate your results. CLICK HERE TO JOIN OUR VIP LIST for our upcoming VIP Summit Feb 28th and/or March 1st.

Meribeth Deen is a Journalist and a Story Producer. She’s produced radio documentaries all over the world and brought the stories of whistle-blowers at Guantanamo Bay to the screen. She goes to where the truth lives. She’s kind, process oriented and believes that when writing, you need to get lost in order to find the point.

We Learn from our Story – BLOG

February 21, 2017

Our story is a personal invitation to learn. It’s not our curse nor our blessing. It’s not our label or paradigm or racket or reason to blame or run or justify. It’s not our grandeur or accomplishment or title or goals. Story just is, and it never ends, while we have breath in our body, blood in our veins and synapses firing between our ears, it is our story that invites us to keep on learning. Why? Because an experience of living doesn’t happen in what we know, it’s in the minute after minute of discovery, and it’s vital to our happiness.

Curiosity didn’t kill the cat, comparison did. You know what happens when we stop learning? We start believing that we know stuff and God help us when that happens because that’s how comparison creeps in. You’ll notice when you start using position statements like: I’m right, they’re wrong. She’s good enough, I’m not. They can do it, I can’t. Why me? Why her? We begin to use words like always and never, as in…I always have to… or I never get to… as if there’s another option out there that we’re not allowed to have.

Comparison killed the cat.

The remedy? Operate in the learning and living zone. Let your story unfold. Be curious. Can we have knowledge? Yes of course it’s just that we mustn’t stop there. We must develop skills and gain wisdom, be guided by our experiences, but the very second we stop learning it’s as if we’re saying I’ve had enough of my story thanks. That’s enough learning for me.

Really?

How about this: what makes an unbelievable book? Some fictional character or person’s real life experience takes us on a roller-coaster ride of happenings that move, inspire or transform us. Most importantly, it’s a journey that we can see ourselves in. Memorable books reflect our human experience and that’s why a killer book compels us to turn the page. We are addicted to learning. We have an insatiable desire to answer the question: What next? Think about your morning routine. When your feet hit the floor and you raise your first cuppa, doesn’t the little voice in your head ask you that very question? Isn’t that why you move forward? What’s next?

That is the juju of our story. That’s what learning is.

We say: Teach me. What else is there? I want to know. I’m ready. More please. I want to be better at this. I want to try something new. I want to expand, to stretch, to lift, to enjoy, to be thrilled, to be moved. I am a life-long learner.

Life IS learning.

In today’s seemingly chaotic world governed by technology, at-capacity-thresholds and relentless change, those of us who embrace life by continuing to sit in the learning seat, (dare I say it?) will be HAPPIER than those who don’t (there I said it) because it takes more energy to hang on than it does to let go and learn.

It takes more energy to hang on than it does to let go and learn.

If you’re in business, and you don’t get story, you’re in trouble because today’s marketing is steeped in it. If you’re still selling pain instead of freedom your days are numbered because today’s consumers are done with adrenaline based marketing. Fear hurts more now because it’s difficult to get away from. If you have a website (and come on now, you must if you’re in business) and you don’t have a book: you are totally missing it. Today we are story based. That is how we learn. That is what we respect and that is what we are yearning for.

Enough with telling me what you know.

Teach me what I want to know instead.

I’m a program director with The Leap Learning Lab and along with Meribeth Deen, the two of us lead a program called PUBLISH supporting the stories of Canadian women from concept to publish ready. And while I can tell you about the tangible benefits of writing your book with us, it’s not the ‘how to’ stuff like this that you’ll take with you once you’re done.

HOW TO:

craft a title that connects to your core.
conduct a research based interview.
link one chapter to the next so your reader is compelled to turn the page.
bring the vibrancy of your inner story up and out to live on the page.
magnify your voice to cut through the noise of other books in your genre.
etc… etc… etc…

Those are just some of the writing take-aways of PUBLISH, but what about the intangibles? Because this is where life as a committed learner enters the picture. This is where we follow, and yes possibly even run along our path to happiness.

TAKE AWAYS:

Honouring the roots of where you’ve been so that your wisdom is a gift.
Connecting to the core of your why to make sense of why any of it matters.
Trusting the story that wants to tell you instead of feeling the pressure of having to drive it all the time.
Allowing a relationship with your creative side to lighten your load a bit more.
Developing a greater sense of confidence in who you are, where you come from and your place in the world.
Finding deeper meaning in all of it.

How do you put that into a curriculum? You can’t because it’s a bi-product of showing up and doing the work whatever that may be. In PUBLISH it’s about getting your book written. In Live Your Best Story (a retreat I lead), it’s about listening so as to lead your life. Whatever it is, take it on as the life-long learner that you are designed to be.

Happiness is connected to our sense of belonging, to understanding what brings us peace, and to doing life within the design of who we truly are. None of us get there by standing on a mountain of what we know. All of us will get there when we’re committed to living by learning.

Our story is an invitation to learn and as we do, we invite more happiness in to our life.

xxT

If you are a Canadian woman entrepreneur, leader, innovator, millennial or your business offers services to women in Canada we invite you to find out more about LEAP Learning Lab.

We are a team of 10 fabulous Canadian women creating opportunities for other Canadian women to accelerate their success and their results across multiple disciplines. We also offer corporate learning solutions for businesses committed to the development of their women leaders.

We are looking for fabulous Canadian women to learn, live and lead with us. Collectively, through learning, we will make each other better humans.

Want you FREE COPY of TinaO’s Core Story Playbook? Click here.

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Here’s where you can find out more about Tina’s upcoming retreat: Live Your Best Story. Here’s where you can find out more about PUBLISH and become a VIP in the Leap Learning Lab.

TinaO’s Three Asks Per Day for Network Marketers – BLOG

February 2, 2017

I learned this a number of years ago when I first started my Network Marketing business: do 3 asks/day.

Ask what? I wondered.

Of course in those days we just asked for the booking, the sale, or the invitation to present the business opportunity, and so that’s what I did, over and over and over again, and boy did it work because the truth is, I rarely did just three. I always did ten or more. In doing so, I became very good at asking, in fact my ask muscle was so strong, I used to tell people that you’ll know you’re a master when you’ve grown a prospecting antennae in your brain. I would tell them this story:

You know how you can be standing at the checkout counter of your local drugstore in the mall but you can spot a lost child one hundred metres away? Somehow, even though it’s the end of the day, you’re busy running a guilty commentary in your head about eating a kitkat bar, all the while you’re thinking about tomorrow’s to do list, the work you didn’t get finished today and yet, bam… you can notice a lost kid across the mall. It’s as if your parent antennae flicks a switch and out of nowhere you are ready to do the 100 metre dash to help that child who is now wimpering over a football field away. That’s the antennae. Over time, I would say, with enough asking, you will build a prospecting antennae that can operate just like that: You will be able to spot a prospect 100 metres away.

And you do.

But then over even more time this will happen:

… when you quit your business, this is what you will tell me “I just couldn’t take it anymore. It was exhausting. I was looking at everyone knowing that I needed to ask them about my products and business because if I didn’t somebody else would.”

Have you ever told yourself that? “If I don’t ask them about my business someone else will”. In fact my favourite quote from the stage by a trainer about this is: “while you’re sitting at home figuring out what to say, I’m out there sponsoring your grandma!” – Yikes. Now there’s some adrenalized motivation. But it is funny. Oh man, I said that over and over and over to myself for months and it made me laugh every time.

If you’ve been in the network marketing industry for any amount of time you will have heard that concept, and if you haven’t, trust me, it’s coming. It’s almost a sales mantra out there. And here’s why: because it’s true. After twelve years into my business I can honestly say that I have lost count of the number of people “I missed out on” after they started with someone else because either I didn’t ask them, or because I did ask them but they didn’t want to do business with me. Oh the rejection…

And then you’ll tell me that you’re quitting because “it’s too heartbreaking”, or “I can’t take the rejection.”

So let’s blow this up shall we? As in, let’s throw a couple of sticks of truth-dynamite into this fear based prospecting style and start over okay?

As a Tall Poppy Network Marketer:

you do NOT take on fear based motivation, instead you follow a simple, sustainable system that produces results, and you follow it.
you do NOT prospect everyone that breathes, instead you introduce your product and business to those whom you would genuinely enjoy consulting and/or working with.
you do NOT attach your self-worth to your product or your business. When someone says no to you, you say, “thanks for telling me. I appreciate that. Here’s how you can find me if you ever have a change of heart and by the way, I do an annual holiday (or Mother’s Day, or Fitness etc…) campaign, can I be in touch with you about that? What is the best way for me to reach you? Email?”

As a Tall Poppy Network Marketer, you WILL follow a system of THREE ASKS/DAY, that’s it, that’s all.

Here’s why:

3 Asks/day takes only twenty minutes of time.

3 Asks/day = 15 asks/week

15 asks/week = 60 brand/product exposures

60 asks/week = a full calendar of bookings.

a full calendar of bookings = the building block business habit of your business.

In my business, my three asks per day are to fill my calendar with ten 30 minute one on one consultations over the phone/week (btw, that means 5 hours of business building activity) where I can ask them questions about what their interests are, tell my story, and offer some samples to try, or offer them a chance to check out my Facebook Group.

Once they’ve done that, I continue the conversation with two follow-ups / day which usually takes about 15 minutes / person and these are usually super casual, via facebook messenger or text (btw that’s 2.5 hours of business / week).

From there, twenty or so will actually want to buy something from me and of those twenty, ten will want something substantial.

And here’s what’s cool – since this method is ridiculously simply, totally relationship based, non-sales-weird, and has no adrenalin or rejection attached to it – these customers usually stay and so do I.

Three asks/day, that’s it, that’s all.

I’m a math person so here’s what it looks like for all of you numbers people out there:

3 ask/day = 60 asks/mth
which become 40 connections (30 minute calls) / mth
which become 20 sales / mth
which become 10 repeat customers / mth
which generates 2 or 3 people interested in my business.

These are good numbers don’t you think?

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TinaO is a Core Story Specialist and a Program Director of PUBLISH with Meribeth Deen for The Leap Learning Lab. She’s a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub to Live, Give and Be Your Story, plus the deep listening weekend retreat Live Your Best Story. She’s been in the PR and Marketing world since she could put words together and has been a professional network marketer for over twelve years. She teaches: selling isn’t slimey, marketing isn’t make-believe and writing your book won’t give you an aneurysm (it’s not hard). You can be yourself in all that you do. In fact, that’s the world is waiting for.

Curious about TinaO’s Network Marketing business? Contact me here. These comments are NOT public, they instead go directly to my email address which is tina@liveyourbeststory.com

Tara Caffelle asks What are Your Foam Blocks? – BLOG

February 1, 2017

Believe it or not, I used to be a pretty serious weight-lifting sort. You would not know it by looking at me now, but I used to lift very heavy things in tiny, short sets, not caring that involuntary grunts escaped me as I did. I worked with a trainer who accepted absolutely zero bullshit from me, and I sometimes had trouble operating the clutch in my car after my workouts.

I’d arrive at Gold’s gym when they opened at 5am in order to get in my training for the day. At home, I would place my workout gear outside the door of my bathroom,and when the alarm went off, I’d shuffle to the bathroom, climb into my clothes like a little fireman, grab my shake and water from the fridge, and leave. I ate accordingly: egg whites and oatmeal for breakfast, followed by five more very strategic meals throughout the day. I drank 3L of water each day, and went for weeks without consuming alcohol.

The me that did all this would go to the occasional yoga class and scoff at the babies in the class – the people who gathered foam blocks and bolsters to comfort themselves during the class and a blanket with which to keep warm in the final savasana.

My punishing ways continued for years. I somehow tied good exercise to struggle and pain and the rejection of any sort of help. At the same time, I was of the mind that my body was my enemy, something to be fixed so that it looked right and was the proper size (whatever that even is!).

That was then.

This week, I went into my usual candlelight yoga class and as I made my way to a spot by the front window, I took a long, peaceful breath and absorbed the calm atmosphere. I took a sip of my green tea before I unrolled my mat and then went to select two foam blocks, a foam cushion, and a bolster.

As I bent to pick up the foam blocks, the ones that help you to get into some of the yoga poses and give your body a break, I smiled, delighting in what I noticed: I wasn’t hesitating for a moment in gathering these items to make my practice easier. Instead of telling my body “YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN!” I was offering it compassion and comfort and support.

It was a really nice thing to notice in the candlelight.

And, as I always do, I am going to apply this to our relationships (I’ve already done this with nearly every client I’ve spoken to since that yoga class!):

Our habit, in relationship, is often to make it fend for itself. We expect it to roll along with us, supporting our every desire while staying resilient and supportive. We treat it like a body-builder living on egg whites and muscle grunts.

What if we instead felt compassion, and gave our relationships what they needed? What if we grabbed a damn foam block and let it be easier?

The ‘foam block’ gets to be whatever you define it to be. Maybe your relationship would really like some quiet evenings at home, rather than an over-scheduled whir of activity. Maybe it wants more affection, care and kindness. The foam blocks in my relationship are making sure we have lots of snuggling time, planning fun outings outside of the house, and finding things to celebrate as we work hard to realize our dreams. These are the things that nurture us both and allow us to get into some pretty strenuous “poses” with ease. (Stay with me and my yoga analogy.)

The invitation is to see where you are not offering compassion to your partner or your relationship and then, preferably by candlelight and with some green tea, ask what it wants in order to feel supported.

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Get Real, Sexy Real.

Tara

Tara Caffelle is a Relationship and Communication coach. She is passionate about creating connected, almost-uncomfortable-to-watch relationships that are based in Sexy Communication and Big Lives worth rolling around in.

Tara is based in the Lower Mainland of Vancouver and offers custom-designed coaching programs. To claim your free 90+ minutes and see what might be possible for your own super coupledom (or persondom), find a time here.
Have a question for Tara? Have an idea for a Hump Day conversation? How about just some thoughts about this thing called life? Let us know here. We’ll answer back. We promise.