Let’s keep this really simple. Meribeth and I write because it’s how we connect with ourselves, with you, and with the world. Language is like oxygen for us. Writing is Breathing. Writing is your birthright.
Seriously, it is.
Here are some thoughts we shared under an umbrella on a rainy day on the West Coast. We’re a little pixelated because this started out as a Facebook Live so it’s been downloaded and uploaded a few times… but hey, it’s not about how we look, it’s about the message right?
What is important for you to claim, to understand, to share, to experience, to love, to deepen with?
Here’s to YOU and YOUR WRITING…
with support,
TinaO & Meribeth
TinaO and Meribeth Deen are the creators of The Writer’s Compass, a method of writing that encourages being lost as a way to create, connect and deliver writing from the core. Want to join in our online writing group? Check out our Private Facebook Group: Core Story Writers here. You can also find our programs: WRITE and PUBLISH on The Leap Learning Lab.
The writing process is messy and it’s supposed to be. When you truly dive into a story and let all that you are jumble up with all that your story asks to be, there will be many times when you have no idea which end is up.
And this is good news. When this is your experience, it means you are on the path even if you think you’re lost in the woods.
You look up, flushed, and a bit out of sorts as if you’ve emerged from a deep dive and strangely peaceful even though you’re not sure where the shore is. This is what it feels like to write from your core. You nailed it: the last paragraph, page, stanza, totally delivered.
You get a bit of a rush. Your confidence spikes and your endorphins kick in. You decide to do the unthinkable: show it to someone. You practically leap over the sofa as your partner comes through the door and thrust your journal at him. “Read this. Tell me what you think”, you say. So he does. Then he looks at you funny. But not funny bad, funny weird. You know the face: polite cheeks just a little too high because of the tight smile, and the distant but encouraging eyes. Yes, he is being super friendly but you can read it all over him. He doesn’t get it.
You get that dropping full stop in your stomach. Your bum cheeks let go. You smile back and say “thanks” as he says “it’s good”.
Good.
Right.
Damage done. Your second guessing starts. You start to stagger and stammer through “I just started. I’m not sure exactly where I’m at yet. Really. Hey, thanks for looking at it. No really. I’m okay. Thanks for looking at it.”
Then what do you do?
You stop. Right?
Or maybe it’s like this: You’re writing something deeply personal. It might be a memoir piece. You might be capturing a sliver of your life that was treacherously difficult but because you lived through it and came through stronger for it you feel an intense desire to write about it. This horrendous thing which like a phoenix, you rose from the ashes as it blazed this knowing inside you: to whom much is given much is expected is WHY you feel compelled to share your story. And so you do. Bravely, courageously and unabashedly let us all in.
Again, this is good.
This IS what we write about.
Your instincts are bang on.
But then something happens.
You write about it instead of into it. You know what you want to say so you say it on purpose. You don’t know this, but your story is now dying a slow painful death inside of you. Because you are so clear about the impact you want to make you take us right to the target but lose us because we didn’t discover it with you. The painful details of your story begin to feel brutal and obvious instead of devastating yet transformative. Your journey takes on a caricature quality because it has become a vehicle to drive instead of a partner to navigate. As the reader, we’re now bored. We’re judging. We stop listening not because we don’t believe you, but because we can’t hear you. We hear your commentary instead.
Harsh right?
I wrote it to protect you from draining all the beauty out of something you treasure as sacred enough to make a difference by giving it away. I want you to have your dream. I want your story of survival into thriving to be protected and nurtured until it’s ready. I want that for you.
You see, your story has to live in order to connect. It has to sit with you as you write it like a mysterious loving friend who word by word lets you in on a precious secret. A part of your writing process is supposed to be unknown to you. We want to go with you as you discover the layers that live between the details, in the pauses, the breaths, and the moments of waiting. But a story needs to be ready for that. Sometimes we have to spend a lot of time alone first, being obvious and hard hitting with our words and images until our bruising heals and we no longer need to give our words away. That’s when we’re free. That’s when it’s time to let someone else in. We invite them we don’t need them.
There is a line between public and personal for every writer and it’s going to be different for you than it is for me. Here’s the way I think about it: Stories are like children and we’d never send them out into traffic without us – that is, not until they’ve grown up a bit.
Meribeth Deen and I had a good chat about this line today. This is what we came up with.
TinaO is a Core Story Specialist and a Program Director of PUBLISH with Meribeth Deen for The LEAP Learning Lab. She’s a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub to Live, Give and Be Your Story, plus the deep listening weekend retreat Live Your Best Story. She’s been in the PR and Marketing world since she could put words together and has been a professional network marketer for over twelve years. She teaches: selling isn’t slimey, marketing isn’t make-believe and writing won’t give you an aneurysm (it’s not hard). You can be yourself in all that you do. In fact, that’s what the world is waiting for.
At a recent event that could best be described as a women’s circle, the women participating were asked two questions in order to kick off the evening’s dialogue. First, introduce yourself not only by your name, but also by the names of your mother and grandmothers. Second, state something you’ve done in your life that you feel proud of – in particular, what you’ve done to “fight the patriarchy” (those were not the words, but that was the jist of what was being asked.
I honestly felt stumped on both counts. Now partly that has to do with the fact that I absolutely freeze in any situation where I’m put on the spot and am asked to talk about myself (helloooo…. job interviews). Also, I couldn’t even name my paternal grandmother. Never mind the fact that I never met her… I should at least know her name. I should know more than the fact that she had A WHOLE BUNCH of kids and even adopted one or two, and that she was both short and stubborn. Really though I don’t know much more about my maternal grandmother even though she lived until I was 21 and yes I did know her name, oh it still shameful how little I know about her life.
My grandfathers, on the other hand, their stories shine. Stories of heroics, intelligence, ingenuity, determination and yes, a few less praiseworthy traits as well – but still, with all of those, stories, the memory of these men evoke a much more complete picture of the lives they lived.
It’s a great assignment, digging up the details of these women’s lives. And I am sure that by taking it on, so many of us women could end up revealing stories that would blow us away. Shedding light on the lives of women whose voices were so diminished compared to ours, we could start to see that we come from a long line of heroes.
We’ve been robbed of their stories, and we can reclaim them.
From their lack of stories, we can also begin to understand the value of our own stories. Our predecessors have fought hard for so many rights we now take for granted, and having a voice and the power to make our stories heard is one of them.
Which brings me to the second question, you know, the fighting patriarchy one. It’s been really hard for me – putting myself, my thoughts, out there publicly; and I am growing into the role. But now I realize, speaking up and trying to be heard and listened to, well that’s simply a woman’s responsibility.
Our stories matter. Your story matters. Take the leap and write it, your granddaughters will thank you.
If you are ready to position yourself as an expert, become a unique voice for your industry and build a residual income, it’s time to write your book so you can grow your audience, reach new markets, and fill your calendar with speaking gigs. It’s time for impact. It’s not about writing a story, it’s about writing yours. Welcome to PUBLISH, a three phase book writing program that brings your story from concept to publish ready.
Every Wednesday we host a Publish Ready Master Session at 3pm (pacific time). We hope you’ll join us on any of these following days:
Meribeth Deen is a Journalist and a Story Producer. She’s a program director of PUBLISH on The Leap Learning Lab. She’s produced radio documentaries all over the world and brought the stories of whistle-blowers at Guantanamo Bay to the screen. She goes to where the truth lives. She’s kind, process oriented and believes that when writing, you need to get lost in order to find the point.
Your book. Yes, the one that’s you’re writing in your head. The one that you tell your confidantes about, the one that you know will be great, if you ever get around to writing it.
There are so many reasons not to: a lack of time, not being sure of how to actually take the first steps, you’re insecurity about the way the words you put on the page sound… and then of course, the best excuse of all: you question, do books even matter these days anyway? This is the question I want to answer right now, and the answer is YES, they do matter. And yes, YOUR book matters.
Writing it, is your chance to state your case across party lines, across time, space, race and sex.
Your book is an opportunity to connect, to make an impact. You don’t know who you’ll make an impact with, and you don’t know what the impact will be (although some educated guessing can help in the writing of your marketing plan).
But when you write with integrity, you can move forward with a “strong spine and open heart” to field whatever questions, conversations and criticisms may come your way.
Your book, the one that you know will be great, if you ever get around to writing it.
Your book is an opportunity for growth – you don’t have to be right, and someday you may look back and think how very wrong you were, but you wrote with honesty and so you will honestly own up to having moved on to a new perspective. The book will simply be a record of who you were when you wrote it, and that’s a good thing. It will give you something to measure yourself against.
Why write a book? Because it won’t get lost in the digital ether, like this blog post.
See you in PUBLISH. Read on to find out how you can be on the VIP list to have first in line access for this exclusive program.
Meribeth
If you are a Canadian woman entrepreneur, leader, innovator, millennial or your business offers services to women in Canada we invite you to find out more about LEAP Learning Lab.We are a team of 10 fabulous Canadian women creating opportunities for other Canadian women to accelerate their success and their results across multiple disciplines. We also offer corporate learning solutions for businesses committed to the development of their women leaders.
We are looking for fabulous Canadian women to learn, live and lead with us. Collectively, through learning, we will make each other better humans.
Meribeth Deen is a Journalist and a Story Producer. She’s produced radio documentaries all over the world and brought the stories of whistle-blowers at Guantanamo Bay to the screen. She goes to where the truth lives. She’s kind, process oriented and believes that when writing, you need to get lost in order to find the point.
TinaO and Meribeth Deen are the creators of The Writer’s Compass, a method of writing that encourages being lost as a way to create, connect and deliver writing from the core. Want to join in our online writing group? Check out our Private Facebook Group: Core Story Writers here. You can also find our programs: WRITE and PUBLISH on The Leap Learning Lab.
Meribeth Deen is a Journalist and a Story Producer. She’s a program director of PUBLISH on 
