AUDIO – #1 Story From the Car – Devotion

Words stick with me, they grab me.

The word that grabbed me this year was devotion.

When I think about devotion, what comes up for me is a love beyond the physical space.

Words carry the energy from the person they are spoken from and they also carry the energy of the word itself.

Devotion is love of a spiritual kind.

It’s a practice of love that is beyond this human plane.

Let’s lay it down…

Give it over…

Listen to the full 20 minute recording here:


Tina Overbury is a core-communications specialist who works with individuals and organizations who feel called. She is a storyteller, performer, and a professional listener who works with narrative and story structure as a vehicle for human connection. Her work is rooted in Myth, Mysticism, and the practice of personal faith. She brings thirty years of collaborative storytelling in theatre, film, marketing, team based selling, and workshop facilitation. She is the founder of Live Your Best Story, a weekend retreat of deep listening held on Bowen Island, BC, Canada and is the voice and story behind TinaOLife, home to Story Stones, TinaO’s online gathering of listening in to sacred stories. Tina is a proud associate of PowHERhouse media where she listens and supports the ‘stories’ of whole and integrated leaders of tomorrow. 

If you would like to know more about Tina’s approach to story, click here


Blog-Education Pilgrimage

What are your thoughts on organized education? I do love me some Gary V in the morning but I can only take sound bytes of him because he swears more than I do. I happened upon a bit of his last week where he named our education system as obsolete. And I couldn’t argue against it. As far as information goes – education is irrelevant. There is absolutely NOTHING out there I can’t gather information about on my own. NO – THING.

However, in terms of LEARNING, I am an external processor. I also a physical processor. The more IN my BODY I am, and the more I can workshop, witness, bounce things on and off people – socialize as I learn, laugh as I learn, get angry and frustrated as I learn, reflect as I learn while being HELD in a sacred circle, the more I retain and embody knowledge.

For some people, organized education makes sense for that.

I’m beginning to believe – not me.

I’m about to embark on a massive path of learning. I am creating a Ministry of Story, and it is sacred to me.

Sacred, like I will never ‘fight’ for it. I will LIVE it instead, with every fibre of my being. There’s nothing to fight for, it either IS or it ISNT. And there is much knowledge to be gathered.

Myth

Religion (multiple)

Indigenous Story

Kabbalah Mysticism

Shamanic Journeying

Earth Story

I will not find this in a school.

I will not find this in ‘organized education’. I will find this information only by living it.

It’s a pilgrimage. And only I know where to place my feet when I listen.

This sounds great for me because my world is in the ‘woo woo’ world (I don’t call it that, but you probably do). But what about organized education? This morning I realized that it’s not for me, but I have three sons. One got through it, another can, but one is literally coming to pieces and losing his connection to his own wisdom in it, but the system is strong, and sometimes I don’t even know what to offer him.

Because what if I’m wrong?

Organized education isn’t right for me, and never has been, but I can’t decide that for him. He’s only 16 years old.

What I know for sure is today’s systems will not sustain tomorrow’s structures.

I’m open to your thoughts.

Xxt


Tina Overbury is a core-communications specialist who works with individuals and organizations who feel called. She is a storyteller, performer, and a professional listener who works with narrative and story structure as a vehicle for human connection. Her work is rooted in Myth, Mysticism, and the practice of personal faith. She brings thirty years of collaborative storytelling in theatre, film, marketing, team based selling, and workshop facilitation. She is the founder of Live Your Best Story, a weekend retreat of deep listening held on Bowen Island, BC, Canada and is the voice and story behind TinaOLife, home to Story Stones, TinaO’s weekly online gathering of listening in to sacred stories. Tina is a proud associate of PowHERhouse media where she listens and supports the ‘stories’ of whole and integrated leaders of tomorrow. 

If you would like to know more about Tina’s approach to story, click here



Blog-Wig Out

I was still fresh into the new year when I had my first almost wig-out as I left the house.

You have a routine. I do too. But routine is different than rhythm. We each have a personal wave of music within us, it’s our signature of how we move. I am not a sprinter. I have always been a long distance runner, hiker and one day (help!), a swimmer too. I’m immersive. I descend. I climb. I rest and reflect on the flat parts.

When I remember that, my days are easier for me. I can find the sweet spot I am made as rather than reach for.

There is no sweet spot.

We ARE the sweet spot.

This year I’m unpacking and unpinning the habitual pattern I’ve created which is NOT my rhythm, but has been my pattern for years called: muther f*k’r panic and pandemonium as I leave the house.

I haven’t changed my timing yet, which I may, but not yet.

I am changing what I honour. This year my word is devotion. I am devoted to living.

Punctuated panic reminds me… oooops, take a breath of love Tina. Take a moment of air. Take a second… have a second of devotion. Like mini prayers of yes.

Mini prayers of yes.

I like the sound of that.

This is my hair flying down the hill as I’m almost, but not, running for the boat. I even managed to consciously chat with my son before I dropped him at school.

So much so that he hugged me (like he initiated) before he left me for the day.

Meanwhile I was rummaging through my bag and muttering… damn… where’s my wallet? Did I forget my wallet? Oh no… but I didn’t, it was on the seat.

That was a 7 out of 10 rhythm morning with just a titch of panic. Not bad.

I am devoted to living.

Nailin’ it this year..


Tina Overbury is a core-communications specialist who works with individuals and organizations who feel called. She is a storyteller, performer, and a professional listener who works with narrative and story structure as a vehicle for human connection. Her work is rooted in Myth, Mysticism, and the practice of personal faith. She brings thirty years of collaborative storytelling in theatre, film, marketing, team based selling, and workshop facilitation. She is the founder of Live Your Best Story, a weekend retreat of deep listening held on Bowen Island, BC, Canada and is the voice and story behind TinaOLife, home to Story Stones, TinaO’s weekly online gathering of listening in to sacred stories. Tina is a proud associate of PowHERhouse media where she listens and supports the ‘stories’ of whole and integrated leaders of tomorrow. 

If you would like to know more about Tina’s approach to story, click here



Blog- Sacred Time

Normal begins today.

This is morning sacred to me. I light three flames: tea, fire, candle and then I read, and then I write. This is prayer for me.

It’s been a ten day journey of expression since my birthday, and I have to say, this might’ve been my best birthday in a long long long time. I might even say my best birthday ever, but I gotta give that a bit more of a think first.

I did nothing but follow my impulses for ten days.

I’m an expressive, so while I’m super introverted and require absolute solo-cannot-do-not-reach-me time, if I don’t have a healthy, daily dose of pouring OUT each day, my mental health will suffer and I can roll in.

If you’re in my inner circle you’ll know because those messages of pouring out via text, or voice, or messenger to you feel like falling to me and I will close my message with ‘thanks for catching me’, which is code for no need to respond’. I needed to be caught.

And thankfully, I’ve cultivated a circle of loved ones who know what that means.

The last ten days I’ve had the space, time and energy to catch myself. I took myself off ‘mom-duty’ for almost two weeks. You should see my house. And it changed me.

It wasn’t a retreat.

It wasn’t ‘time with the girls’

It wasn’t a bath, or a run, or a good book, or just chillin’… It was time to listen, and then permission to follow, and with absolute ZERO accountability to anyone but me, and another big old ZERO of explanation to anyone else either annnnnnnnd a big 100% permission to be misunderstood by everyone and anyone.

Like me

Don’t like me

Receive me

Don’t receive me

Understand me

or don’t

And you know what happened?

I could feel and hear and walk within my own rhythm again.

I came home.

Sacred time of mornings is where this permission to listen and follow began.

What is your sacred?

How do you carve out space to hear?

Xxt


Tina Overbury is a core-communications specialist who works with individuals and organizations who feel called. She is a storyteller, performer, and a professional listener who works with narrative and story structure as a vehicle for human connection. Her work is rooted in Myth, Mysticism, and the practice of personal faith. She brings thirty years of collaborative storytelling in theatre, film, marketing, team based selling, and workshop facilitation. She is the founder of Live Your Best Story, a weekend retreat of deep listening held on Bowen Island, BC, Canada and is the voice and story behind TinaOLife, home to Story Stones, TinaO’s weekly online gathering of listening in to sacred stories. Tina is a proud associate of PowHERhouse media where she listens and supports the ‘stories’ of whole and integrated leaders of tomorrow. 

If you would like to know more about Tina’s approach to story, click here


BLOG – Story is a Blur

Story is a blur.

It’s supposed to be until you see the pieces which want to be heard.

Some of us hear.

Some see.

Some feel.

Others sense.

And still others just know.

And then there are those who can’t speak because there are no words or senses of this ‘plane’ – and they follow.

I’m serious.

And totally not crazy.

Some people hear without any communication at all.

I get you.

I get the blur.

Story speaks in our language not yours.

Listen

Tina Overbury is a core-communications specialist who works with individuals and organizations who feel called. She is a storyteller, performer, and a professional listener who works with narrative and story structure as a vehicle for human connection. Her work is rooted in Myth, Mysticism, and the practice of personal faith. She brings thirty years of collaborative storytelling in theatre, film, marketing, team based selling, and workshop facilitation. She is the founder of Live Your Best Story, a weekend retreat of deep listening held on Bowen Island, BC, Canada and is the voice and story behind TinaOLife, home to Story Stones, TinaO’s weekly online gathering of listening in to sacred stories. Tina is a proud associate of PowHERhouse media where she listens and supports the ‘stories’ of whole and integrated leaders of tomorrow. 

If you would like to know more about Tina’s approach to story, click here

Can You Dream the Wrong Way?

What does dreaming actually do?

I dream, sure. I have bucket lists. I have visions of places I want to go, people I want to see, and moments I want to create. I was in a highly successful business for years where the entire motivation to grow was fueled by one catch phrase: dare to dream, so I did, and it worked. But I think I kinda did it wrong because I didn’t really want what I had.

Can you dream the wrong way?

I remember the stickiness of change in that business when things I could only dream about were starting to happen. I was travelling and staying in beautiful hotels with gifts left for me on the bed. I ate the most delicious things in five star restaurants, had fireside chats in great-rooms overlooking the desert and I was blessed to spend a week in Hawaii every year. This is what I never dreamed about but thought I was supposed to, so I did, and it happened.

It felt a lot like being in a space ship which is why I’m wrestling with the whole dreaming thing right now. I had to leave the roots of my life behind in order to ‘lift off’. I dreamt, I affirmed and I created. I remember walking down wide hotel hallways, stunningly dressed, on my way to attend another evening gala. I don’t remember feeling my feet touch the floor.

We say this about dreaming: ‘as if my feet never touched the ground’.

Today things are different yet I am living a dream for sure. Things are simpler. I live by the ocean in a beautiful home surrounded by nature. I wake up to the sound of birds and I fall asleep to the glow of the moon and stars. I am self-employed. I am blessed to make a living doing what I love. I am passionate about it. I am nourished spiritually by it. I create my schedule. My boys are healthy, happy and ridiculously funny. We eat on a long table outside on the deck in the summer and we snuggle up by the fire in the winter. This is a dream I never made a goal, though I felt my through to this experience since I was a little girl. I did not visualize this. I did not create affirmations either, I simply followed a feeling of home inside me. Sounds pretty good right? Yes, but I still think what I’m doing isn’t quite right because I can’t help but  notice how much effort it takes to keep this dream floating. I have many agreements, exchanges and structures within this dream.

We say this about dreaming: ‘there are no limits’.

As a child I would wake up to an orchestra of stories in my head. If thoughts were words, were music, were water, were warmth, were colour, that’s what I’m talking about. I woke up to inspiration all at once.  Some days I still do. I experience speckles of hope, fragments of beauty, shards of mystery and particles of fireworks in each moment. This ignites the impulses to move me forward. This is the dreaming that happens effortlessly. Unfortunately for the rest of the world, it’s just weird.

I’ve been called flighty, impulsive, frivolous, unbalanced, wild and, wait for it… a dreamer…

We say this about dreaming:  ‘a dream is a wish your heart makes’

I’m approaching 50 and as part of my #thisis50 series I am looking at a lot of things. Last Saturday I went to bed feeling quite sad and lonely. I had been moved during a film festival and had no one special to share my shards of inspiration with. But this is 50 (almost) so I didn’t go to the bar and try to meet someone. Nor did I go on a two hour walk in the dark to cry. I didn’t binge with a bag of cheesies and watch netflix, I didn’t do a lot of things I would’ve done in my 20s and 30s – not that this list is bad (no shame here), they just don’t change anything and neither does dreaming.

I went home. I felt sad. I layed in bed (kids were at their dad’s), and instead, started asking…

What do I want?

What do I see in that want?

What do I feel in that want?

How do I see me in that want?

What is this want?

All of this because earlier last week a friend told me a story about his mother asking him directly: What do you really want? -as if he could simply order it off the menu from the universe and it would be delivered. I noticed I never ask that of myself. I never ask what do you want?, because if I want something, I go get it so I rarely feel want, I just feel get instead. I think this might be the gap in dreaming I’m not doing right. This idea of asking for what I truly want feels foreign to me. I want that piece of cake or I want my son to be happy is not the same as I want to travel to New York and fall into the magic of theatre every year and get paid for it. While theatre season may mean nothing to you, to me it makes me want to laugh, cry and love at the same time, and that’s just ONE thing on my want list.

This is what I think:

A want is not a dream, but a dream without a want is just a wish. 

And that’s what Cinderella does. Remember… she’s fiction.

We say this about dreaming: Dreams don’t work unless you do.

So again, this mantra about effort, work, results and dreaming. Where is the sweet spot?

I’m three years from fifty and all I know is, it’s time to trust my kaleidescope approach to dreaming, the way I did before I knew what it was. As a child I would just see things inside first as I wanted them. I would feel things before I knew what they were, I’d follow that feeling and what I wanted appeared. I would hear words before the story arrived and solving the mystery would manifest the very thing I wanted.

I’m beginning to believe that dreaming is allowing myself to want something. Really really want something.

So from this place of really wanting, this is what I know so far:

I want to cycle in Europe, sleep in little Inns and drink wine at night. 

I want to travel to cultural birthplaces and listen to the stories that live there.   

I want to go to New York, London and drop in to Niagara annually for Theatre Season, like it’s just what I do. It’s not a trip, it’s my life. 

I want to touch spiritual symbols and listen to them.

I want a home, maybe a few. 

I want to meet as many beaches as I can. 

I want to own and drive a jeep. I know, it’s kinda cliché but I really want that. 

I want to Christmas with my family forever – as if Christmas is a verb and not a day on the calendar.

I want to swim the way I run – like my body just knows how to do it. 

I’m sure there is more, but this is the list I’m starting with. Don’t ask me about love and relationships yet. I have no idea. None. Zip. Zilch. I got nuthin’. Well, that’s not true. I’m just not ready to say them out loud yet. I’ll get there. Beauty, Love, Art, Adventure, Home, Health, and God. That’s all I know right now.

I think dreaming is wanting from the essence of how you are designed, and that’s another Story from the Core conversation.

So now it’s your turn. What do you want? 

Thanks for listening.

As we say here in Storyland, Listening is Loving. 

#thisis50

xxT

TinaO is a Writer, Story Coach, and Host of the TinaOShow, collecting and telling Stories from the Core. She’s the co-owner of The LEAP Learning Lab with Gina Best, and the other half of The Writer’s Compass with Meribeth Deen. She says: Stories are like toddlers, they will follow you around, tugging, hanging off of you until you listen to them.  TinaO is the founder of Live Your Best Story, a weekend retreat of deep listening using writing, storytelling, nature, nourishment, art and connection as a way to listen to the personal story within. The retreat is held in various locations around the world, and is always offered 3x/year in British Columbia where she lives. All are welcome.
As always… let me know your thoughts. They’re always welcome.

This is Fifty with TinaO

This is 50. But I’m not quite there. I’m 47 and like every milestone, their whisperings begin around the 7 mark: 17 begins 20, 27 begins 30, 37 to 40 and now this, fifty. A half century.

I’m already blessed because I have made it this far.  In 1962 the average life expectancy was 65 which means a whole lot of people in my circle (even me) could’ve been dead by now fifty five years ago. In 2018, our average life expectancy for women in Canada is 83. I wonder what it will be in twenty years. I’m guessing closer to 95. If that’s the case, right now, (if all goes well) I’m probably at the half way point. In these moments I wonder… good gawd, what on earth am I going to live through next?

I suspect everyone has an approaching 50 list. Here’s mine:

At almost fifty I am:

  • Shocked to be soon divorced.
  • Overwhelmed by how many more years I am willingly and yes lovingly carrying my children as a single parent (another decade).
  • Aware, grateful and still a bit raw about a journey through cancer.
  • Kind of ashamed by the financial collapse of my life, now twice, both post a marital breakdown.
  • I forgot that part, I’m soon to be divorced twice. Ugh. Twice. I’m a statistic too.
  • Almost 50 and I’m pretty awed by my psychological and physical constitution. I have endured many stories and I still smile, just not all the time.
  • Appreciative of this body of mine which carried me through my first triathlon months post cancer (seriously, what was I thinking?). I’m astounded by what this body can do, and how I can recover.
  • I am kind of disssociated from the achievement because I don’t really understand how it all happened and where the motivation came from. Have you ever felt like that?
  • Heartbroken by the randomness of loss I know to be part of this thing called life.
  • Lost in my own romanticism of possibility.
  • Drowning while still breathing my almost-50 yearnings.
  • Blown and breathless by the mystery that is Love, Art and God.
  • Clear that I never need to be ‘saved’ by any one person again.
  • Solid to be my own hero yet deeply aware and moved by the knowing none of us are here to do this or be alone.
  • I am almost fifty.
  • I am my own hero, my own sunflower, my own carpet of magic, and my own story stone in the ocean.

And still,

Life kicks my ass sometimes, cracks my heart open so wide I swear my heartbeat meshes with the pulse of the sun, and life and all it’s messiness can bring me to my knees in utter helpless, and hopeless beauty.

This is 50.

If you’re familiar with my writing you’ll know ‘this’ is what I do. Something wild this way comes and ‘this’ is what it looks like when my story tells me. After coffee and scrolling through travel adventures online, followed by deliciously facebook messaging a dear friend across the globe with my findings, I began to scribble some thoughts on a big hunk of paper.

This is 50. I wrote.

And then ‘that’ impulse came. Gahhhhh the familiar nudge, push and shove forward I know so well. That feeling launched my first vlog series which tracked my journey post cancer through to the Vancouver 5i50 triathlon in 2016. I turned my computer on.

Welcome to my next series on TinaOLife.

This is 50.

I’m three years out from five-oh and closing an old story. In the work I do as a story coach, I call this swimming between ripples.

The visual I use is this: it’s as if we come in to this world as a story stone and are dropped into the water and who we are, or our story ripples out. Every circle is the next, expanded version of the first one. Every ring another layer of who we are.

Swimming between ripples is letting go of one to follow the ease of the next. I’m going to share this next journey with you. I’ll be posting regularly here.  This is 50 with TinaO.

As always…

Thanks for listening.

In storyland, listening is loving.

xxT.

TinaO is a Writer, Story Coach, and Host of the TinaOShow, collecting and telling Stories from the Core. She’s the co-owner of The LEAP Learning Lab with Gina Best, and the other half of The Writer’s Compass with Meribeth Deen. She says: Stories are like toddlers, they will follow you around, tugging, hanging off of you until you listen to them.  TinaO is the founder of Live Your Best Story, a weekend retreat of deep listening using writing, storytelling, nature, nourishment, art and connection as a way to listen to the personal story within. The retreat is held in various locations around the world, and is always offered 3x/year in British Columbia where she lives. All are welcome.
As always… let me know your thoughts. They’re always welcome.

The Writer’s Compass – No Chores Allowed- BLOG

NO CHORES ALLOWED

I don’t like vacuuming, and I particularly don’t enjoy vacuuming stairs. In order to do it well, I have to change the nozel, plug and unplug the vacuum, position the vacuum itself sideways across each step so it doesn’t fall off as I move up or down, and no matter what I try, I always end up banging or nicking the wall along the way.  Ugggggghhhh it’s just too much work. Vacuuming stairs is totally a chore.

I don’t mind doing the dishes. Yes, I have to give up twenty minutes of my life. Yes, I’m often cleaning up someone else’s jam, or scraping macaroni and cheese off someone else’s lunch pot, but it’s not so bad. Doing dishes may be work, but it doesn’t feel like a chore to me.

I don’t really have an opinion about laundry anymore. It’s not work or a chore, it’s a habit. If I grumbled every time I unballed a dirty sock or folded a towel, laundry would be pretty obnoxious for me. I just do it. It’s not work. It’s not a chore. It’s become a practice.

Here’s a Zen Proverb I love because it sums up chores/work/practices and writing beautifully:

Before enlightenment;

chop wood carry water.

After enlightenment;

chop wood carry water. 

You’re likely writing something or you wouldn’t be reading this post. You’re probably hoping to find a tip to make your writing process easier, more efficient and maybe even more joyful.

So here it is: Don’t make writing a chore.

That’s it. That’s all. Make writing a choice by building a practice around it. Simply write and keep writing, and as you write, explore new ways to show up to the page again and again and again until the process becomes your practice and it feels like coming home.

Here are some tips to developing your writing practice:

  • Notice when words come easy for you. Is it when you’re the most awake with more thinking power? Is it when it’s late and there’s less energy to resist? Is it something else?
  • Try commiting to a small daily word count. Some people do their best work in a sustainable way with a 300-500 daily word count. Did you know Stephen King follows a 3000/day word count and some days he’s done before 11:30am? (BTW… if this makes you groan, you’re in good company. This is not my process).
  • Try linking writing with a regular activity. E.G. everytime you’re on the bus, write 300 words in your notebook.
  • Try using writing prompts by finishing a sentence which then becomes a paragraph. Set a timer for three minutes.
  • Try blocking out one, three to four day weekend per month and create a writing retreat around it. BTW…this is how I write in a non-chore, non-work way. I call myself an immersive writer.

These are just a few ideas to play with and there are oodles more out there. We’ll talk about many of them here.

Here’s the bottomline:  Don’t make writing a chore or you’ll be vacumming stairs all day, and who wants to do that? Bleccchhhhh…. not me, and Meribeth and I certainly don’t want that for you.

We want to help you write, finish and deliver your book… repeat.

Here’s to your writing adventure,

Much love,

TinaO

TinaO is a Writer, Story Coach and the other half of The Writer’s Compass with Meribeth Deen. She is the host of the TinaOShow, collecting and telling Stories from the Core and the co-owner with Gina Best of The Leap Learning Lab. The Writer’s Compass encourages writers to get off the beaten path and create impactful stories from the core. We teach: writing isn’t precious, it’s a practice. 
Want to join our online writing group? Check out our private Facebook Group: Core Story Writers here.

Why Write? – VIDEO

Do you write for the love of language?

Do you write to learn?

To fall in?

To discover?

Why do you write?

Let’s keep this really simple. Meribeth and I write because it’s how we connect with ourselves, with you, and with the world. Language is like oxygen for us. Writing is Breathing. Writing is your birthright.

Seriously, it is.

Here are some thoughts we shared under an umbrella on a rainy day on the West Coast. We’re a little pixelated because this started out as a Facebook Live so it’s been downloaded and uploaded a few times… but hey, it’s not about how we look, it’s about the message right?

What is important for you to claim, to understand, to share, to experience, to love, to deepen with?

Here’s to YOU and YOUR WRITING…

with support,

TinaO & Meribeth

TinaO and Meribeth Deen are the creators of The Writer’s Compass, a method of writing that encourages being lost as a way to create, connect and deliver writing from the core. Want to join in our online writing group? Check out our Private Facebook Group: Core Story Writers here. You can also find our programs: WRITE and PUBLISH on The Leap Learning Lab.

Why I Love Jake Hassel-Gren a TinaO List to Love – BLOG

We make some people harder to love because they defy our societal and cultural norms. They’re pure. They don’t mince expectations with filtered down possibilities so everyone else is comfortable. They don’t stop to give you their spot in the sun because they know we all have one.  They think: Why create shade when there’s enough heat for all?

That’s Jake.

She’s highly misunderstood, and it’s precisely what I love about her. What you see is who she is and what she wants for you is everything.  Tricky to believe these days: someone who actually wants the best for you because she understands what it is.

And therein lies the rub.

Her standards are high.

She comes by it honestly. She was raised that way (but that’s next week’s story). Here’s a glimpse though. I can’t help myself.

“My parents are truly incredible human beings. They exposed me to life across it’s multiple landscapes. I had it all. During the week, life in a fine home with velvet curtains and stunning design and then weekends running barefoot in the grass with scads of artists and hippies. There  was no room for judgement in my life, only experiences. My parents gave us and showed us what the best truly is: a full and confident life.”

No wonder I liked her immediately even though I wasn’t sure I should.  She challenged me right from the get-go.  There was no nicey-nicey dumbing it down small-talk. She asked what I did. I told her I’m a Core Story Specialist. I help people articulate exactly who they are and intrinsically, why they do what they do.

And she got it.

“Cool”, she said.  And that was it.

I liked that.

She didn’t offer any polite ‘filler’ conversation. She just moved on to what was next.

What you see is who she is and what she wants for you is everything.

I’ll come completely clean on this one, we work together now and I offered to write this article because I feel lucky to know her. Holy Hannah and mutha of all that is F-bomb sacred, Jake Hassel-Gren has a MASSIVE VISION for female entrepreneurs. She (and I) can drop more F-bombs than a bus load of 14 year olds on Dorritos. The difference is kids do it ’cause they can, and she does it ’cause sometimes it’s called for.  Some moments deserve a capital F in the front with a big ole K at the back.

The truth is though, as much as I send her up now, I completely couldn’t figure her out when we first met.  “I’ll connect you with my friend Jake”, said Charlene SanJenko of PowHERhouse Women’s Media Group to me last August. “She’s the woman behind The LEAP Learning Lab. You two can talk about building a program to help women bring their book from concept to publish-ready.  Jake is as tired as you and I are of seeing women continue to work in silos. We have to change how we do things and Jake’s LEAP Learning Lab is all about that.”

Where does she live? I asked.

“Toronto”, said Charlene.

Oh gawd I thought, not another perfectly coiffed Toronto woman to snicker at my hippy hair and make snide comments about my closet full of Crocs.  Sure… let’s talk. I thought. We’ll see. 

We got on a video chat in September and in perfect post summer form, I had sun-fried frizzy hippy hair and was still bumbling around with beach brain struggling to finish complete thoughts and sentences as we shared big ideas about what would make the lives of female entrepreneur’s easier AND more powHERful.  Jake, once upon a time a VP in the banking world, now an entrepreneur on a mission to create a global, world class online Community of Practice for women and set a platinum standard for online learning, showed up exactly as she is: stunning, primed and ready for anything.

I’m going to write another piece about Jake next week. This is just the beginning.  It’s going to take a lot more than one article to capture this woman’s story. I spent a few hours on the phone with her doing what I do best, which is pulling together who she is at the Core so I can understand why she cares so deeply about women taking their spot, as she calls it.

For today though, my focus is on WHY Jake rather than WHO is Jake. I want you to know why I decided to hitch my online learning wagon to LEAP, and you know me, my reasons always have less to do with business and everything to do with the person.  A long time ago, in an entrepreneurial class I took in my early twenties, the teacher at the front of the room said “never do business with someone you wouldn’t have over for dinner”.  That truth has stayed with me.  So here’s a bit about Jake and why I think she’s pretty dang spectacular.

TinaO’s Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Jake Hassel-Gren.

Do women even say that about women anymore? I do.

#1 – She’s wicked, and every other totally awesome and righteous word I used in the 80’s. Remember how the 80’s defied logic? There was only one direction, and it was UP.  That’s how it feels to work beside Jake. We’re going somewhere and it’s gonna be florescent green, Madonna awesome.

#2 – She likes dogs. Seriously, her dogs have matching winter jackets and she’d never treat them like an accessory though they will look fantastic.  She’s a ‘small dog’ parent and yes she does post funny dog videos on Facebook.

#3 – She speaks artist. Okay, I’m stretching the truth a little (maybe a lot). She doesn’t actually SPEAK artist, but she FEELS artist which is harder and far more vulnerable to do.  I couldn’t hang with this chick if we didn’t connect in this way.

#4 – She wears red lipstick like it’s a signature. Red is primary. It isn’t made from something else by anything else. Perfect.

BTW, it’s Chanel. I asked.

#5 – She can flip you the bird while screaming your praises. Expression is like that. It’s a full contact sport. Jake does life out loud and what she doesn’t say with her words, she’ll tell you with her eyes.

#6 – It took less than 3 seconds for my phone to ring when I told her about my sister passing. Not a text. She phoned. Who calls anyone anymore? Jake.

#7 – She asks “How are you?” at least twice a week. In her world of ‘best’, of ‘do’, of ‘be’ she still finds the time to connect with those she cares about. She says things like “I was thinking about you today. How did your doctor’s appointment go?”, or “How are you holding up?”, and “Do you need anything?”.  Again, I ask you, how many people do you have in your life who do that regularly?

#8 – She calls me out on my greatness and I’m not talkin’ blowing sunshine up my butt. It’s not about compliments, it’s about saying what is so. She’s the first to say “You know that. You do that. You are that.” – When she says it, I believe it. When I say it, I talk myself out of it. I’d rather listen to her.

#9 – She loves football. Okay, so I grew up with too many brothers and I can’t stand watching sports on tv or in an arena, but I frickin’ love that she’s over-the-top, beyond-all-understanding, geeked-out C R A Z Y about The New England Patriots. I gotta respect that kinda passion you know?

#10 – When I asked her what is ‘home’ for her, and what is her greatest medicine? She said LOVE. 

Jake is a big game of life player.  She gets up every morning and asks: How can I be of service today? Some of us are harder to understand because our whole package doesn’t match the stories set up and made-up by others on the outside. Jake is like that.

I thought she was tough. She is.

I thought she was an uncompromising high achiever. She is.

I thought she was opinionated, driven and sharp. She is that too.

I thought she cared about success. She does.

Yours.

and Hers.

and Mine.

Because in Jake’s world, you don’t have to step into the shade to give someone else a piece of the sun.

The best is meant for all of us, and a woman need only stand and claim her spot to know that for herself.

This is PART ONE of TinaO’s Exclusive on Jake Hassel-Gren. Watch for Jake’s Core Story in PART TWO coming out next week. For more about Jake’s LEAP Learning Lab, you can visit her site. 

TinaO is a Core Story Specialist and a Program Director of PUBLISH with Meribeth Deen for The LEAP Learning Lab. She’s a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub to Live, Give and Be Your Story, plus the deep listening weekend retreat Live Your Best Story. She’s been in the PR and Marketing world since she could put words together and has been a professional network marketer for over twelve years. She teaches: selling isn’t slimey, marketing isn’t make-believe and writing won’t give you an aneurysm (it’s not hard). You can be yourself in all that you do. In fact, that’s what the world is waiting for.