I usually tear out of my house in the morning as I run for the ferry. Yes, I admit, I’m one of those women who is a panic to get out of the house. I’m not saying that men aren’t like that too, I’m just noting I haven’t met one. Honestly, I’m a bit of a thrasher – or have been.
Transitions are hard for me and as I get older and accumulate more endings and beginnings I’ve noticed a prickliness, like electric barbs shooting through me and around me when I come home, and when I leave. Gathering my things as I leave the house triggers feelings of not belonging. I have been forever ‘gathering my things…’ When I travel, the placing of my bag by the door, the loading of stuff into the car, as I touch my phone, my passport, my keys, my wallet check check check. Triple check check check. The hugs to whomever is or isn’t sending me off sets off tears. I shake a little as I say good bye and walk on the boat.
But then as soon as I’ve left, I’m free.
This morning as I was prepping to leave the house, the light not yet full in the sky… warning of a storm coming and ‘better watch the ferry announcements’ in case I can’t get home, then this view… I had to stop, and look.
I’ve made a decision this year, for 2020 to close the cycle of panic when I transition. To let doors close and open with less friction, to soothe the sparks as they light up in me when I step out or step in, and I think this pic is how it started.
I’m pretty sure I’ve yelled at my kids every day I come home, and I’m a super reasonable mom. Like the kinda mom people judge because I’m too damn ‘permissive’ but let me tell you, when I’m walking in the door at the end of the day and the dishes aren’t done, the dog has eaten a tub of cookies off the counter and I’ve tripped over four sets of shoes at the door, let me tell you, I go from zero to f*ck you in less time than I can blink.
But it’s not the dishes, or dog or shoes fault (tho that is blast worthy), it is the pain of not being welcomed, or feeling received, of transitions, of walking these particular moments alone that are the culprit.
It has been a pain point for me.
And it had become unconscious and reactive.
Not anymore.
Tina Overbury is a core-communications specialist who works with individuals and organizations who feel called. She is a storyteller, performer, and a professional listener who works with narrative and story structure as a vehicle for human connection. Her work is rooted in Myth, Mysticism, and the practice of personal faith. She brings thirty years of collaborative storytelling in theatre, film, marketing, team based selling, and workshop facilitation. She is the founder of Live Your Best Story, a weekend retreat of deep listening held on Bowen Island, BC, Canada and is the voice and story behind TinaOLife, home to Story Stones, TinaO’s weekly online gathering of listening in to sacred stories. Tina is a proud associate of PowHERhouse media where she listens and supports the ‘stories’ of whole and integrated leaders of tomorrow.
If you would like to know more about Tina’s approach to story, click here.