The Writer’s Compass – No Chores Allowed- BLOG

April 11, 2018

NO CHORES ALLOWED

I don’t like vacuuming, and I particularly don’t enjoy vacuuming stairs. In order to do it well, I have to change the nozel, plug and unplug the vacuum, position the vacuum itself sideways across each step so it doesn’t fall off as I move up or down, and no matter what I try, I always end up banging or nicking the wall along the way. Ugggggghhhh it’s just too much work. Vacuuming stairs is totally a chore.

I don’t mind doing the dishes. Yes, I have to give up twenty minutes of my life. Yes, I’m often cleaning up someone else’s jam, or scraping macaroni and cheese off someone else’s lunch pot, but it’s not so bad. Doing dishes may be work, but it doesn’t feel like a chore to me.

I don’t really have an opinion about laundry anymore. It’s not work or a chore, it’s a habit. If I grumbled every time I unballed a dirty sock or folded a towel, laundry would be pretty obnoxious for me. I just do it. It’s not work. It’s not a chore. It’s become a practice.

Here’s a Zen Proverb I love because it sums up chores/work/practices and writing beautifully:

Before enlightenment;

chop wood carry water.

After enlightenment;

chop wood carry water.

You’re likely writing something or you wouldn’t be reading this post. You’re probably hoping to find a tip to make your writing process easier, more efficient and maybe even more joyful.

So here it is: Don’t make writing a chore.

That’s it. That’s all. Make writing a choice by building a practice around it. Simply write and keep writing, and as you write, explore new ways to show up to the page again and again and again until the process becomes your practice and it feels like coming home.

Here are some tips to developing your writing practice:

Notice when words come easy for you. Is it when you’re the most awake with more thinking power? Is it when it’s late and there’s less energy to resist? Is it something else?
Try commiting to a small daily word count. Some people do their best work in a sustainable way with a 300-500 daily word count. Did you know Stephen King follows a 3000/day word count and some days he’s done before 11:30am? (BTW… if this makes you groan, you’re in good company. This is not my process).
Try linking writing with a regular activity. E.G. everytime you’re on the bus, write 300 words in your notebook.
Try using writing prompts by finishing a sentence which then becomes a paragraph. Set a timer for three minutes.
Try blocking out one, three to four day weekend per month and create a writing retreat around it. BTW…this is how I write in a non-chore, non-work way. I call myself an immersive writer.

These are just a few ideas to play with and there are oodles more out there. We’ll talk about many of them here.

Here’s the bottomline: Don’t make writing a chore or you’ll be vacumming stairs all day, and who wants to do that? Bleccchhhhh…. not me, and Meribeth and I certainly don’t want that for you.

We want to help you write, finish and deliver your book… repeat.

Here’s to your writing adventure,

Much love,

TinaO

TinaO is a Writer, Story Coach and the other half of The Writer’s Compass with Meribeth Deen. She is the host of the TinaOShow, collecting and telling Stories from the Core and the co-owner with Gina Best of The Leap Learning Lab. The Writer’s Compass encourages writers to get off the beaten path and create impactful stories from the core. We teach: writing isn’t precious, it’s a practice.

Want to join our online writing group? Check out our private Facebook Group: Core Story Writers here.

We Learn from our Story – BLOG

February 21, 2017

Our story is a personal invitation to learn. It’s not our curse nor our blessing. It’s not our label or paradigm or racket or reason to blame or run or justify. It’s not our grandeur or accomplishment or title or goals. Story just is, and it never ends, while we have breath in our body, blood in our veins and synapses firing between our ears, it is our story that invites us to keep on learning. Why? Because an experience of living doesn’t happen in what we know, it’s in the minute after minute of discovery, and it’s vital to our happiness.

Curiosity didn’t kill the cat, comparison did. You know what happens when we stop learning? We start believing that we know stuff and God help us when that happens because that’s how comparison creeps in. You’ll notice when you start using position statements like: I’m right, they’re wrong. She’s good enough, I’m not. They can do it, I can’t. Why me? Why her? We begin to use words like always and never, as in…I always have to… or I never get to… as if there’s another option out there that we’re not allowed to have.

Comparison killed the cat.

The remedy? Operate in the learning and living zone. Let your story unfold. Be curious. Can we have knowledge? Yes of course it’s just that we mustn’t stop there. We must develop skills and gain wisdom, be guided by our experiences, but the very second we stop learning it’s as if we’re saying I’ve had enough of my story thanks. That’s enough learning for me.

Really?

How about this: what makes an unbelievable book? Some fictional character or person’s real life experience takes us on a roller-coaster ride of happenings that move, inspire or transform us. Most importantly, it’s a journey that we can see ourselves in. Memorable books reflect our human experience and that’s why a killer book compels us to turn the page. We are addicted to learning. We have an insatiable desire to answer the question: What next? Think about your morning routine. When your feet hit the floor and you raise your first cuppa, doesn’t the little voice in your head ask you that very question? Isn’t that why you move forward? What’s next?

That is the juju of our story. That’s what learning is.

We say: Teach me. What else is there? I want to know. I’m ready. More please. I want to be better at this. I want to try something new. I want to expand, to stretch, to lift, to enjoy, to be thrilled, to be moved. I am a life-long learner.

Life IS learning.

In today’s seemingly chaotic world governed by technology, at-capacity-thresholds and relentless change, those of us who embrace life by continuing to sit in the learning seat, (dare I say it?) will be HAPPIER than those who don’t (there I said it) because it takes more energy to hang on than it does to let go and learn.

It takes more energy to hang on than it does to let go and learn.

If you’re in business, and you don’t get story, you’re in trouble because today’s marketing is steeped in it. If you’re still selling pain instead of freedom your days are numbered because today’s consumers are done with adrenaline based marketing. Fear hurts more now because it’s difficult to get away from. If you have a website (and come on now, you must if you’re in business) and you don’t have a book: you are totally missing it. Today we are story based. That is how we learn. That is what we respect and that is what we are yearning for.

Enough with telling me what you know.

Teach me what I want to know instead.

I’m a program director with The Leap Learning Lab and along with Meribeth Deen, the two of us lead a program called PUBLISH supporting the stories of Canadian women from concept to publish ready. And while I can tell you about the tangible benefits of writing your book with us, it’s not the ‘how to’ stuff like this that you’ll take with you once you’re done.

HOW TO:

craft a title that connects to your core.
conduct a research based interview.
link one chapter to the next so your reader is compelled to turn the page.
bring the vibrancy of your inner story up and out to live on the page.
magnify your voice to cut through the noise of other books in your genre.
etc… etc… etc…

Those are just some of the writing take-aways of PUBLISH, but what about the intangibles? Because this is where life as a committed learner enters the picture. This is where we follow, and yes possibly even run along our path to happiness.

TAKE AWAYS:

Honouring the roots of where you’ve been so that your wisdom is a gift.
Connecting to the core of your why to make sense of why any of it matters.
Trusting the story that wants to tell you instead of feeling the pressure of having to drive it all the time.
Allowing a relationship with your creative side to lighten your load a bit more.
Developing a greater sense of confidence in who you are, where you come from and your place in the world.
Finding deeper meaning in all of it.

How do you put that into a curriculum? You can’t because it’s a bi-product of showing up and doing the work whatever that may be. In PUBLISH it’s about getting your book written. In Live Your Best Story (a retreat I lead), it’s about listening so as to lead your life. Whatever it is, take it on as the life-long learner that you are designed to be.

Happiness is connected to our sense of belonging, to understanding what brings us peace, and to doing life within the design of who we truly are. None of us get there by standing on a mountain of what we know. All of us will get there when we’re committed to living by learning.

Our story is an invitation to learn and as we do, we invite more happiness in to our life.

xxT

If you are a Canadian woman entrepreneur, leader, innovator, millennial or your business offers services to women in Canada we invite you to find out more about LEAP Learning Lab.

We are a team of 10 fabulous Canadian women creating opportunities for other Canadian women to accelerate their success and their results across multiple disciplines. We also offer corporate learning solutions for businesses committed to the development of their women leaders.

We are looking for fabulous Canadian women to learn, live and lead with us. Collectively, through learning, we will make each other better humans.

Want you FREE COPY of TinaO’s Core Story Playbook? Click here.

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Here’s where you can find out more about Tina’s upcoming retreat: Live Your Best Story. Here’s where you can find out more about PUBLISH and become a VIP in the Leap Learning Lab.

Identifying your Core Story – BLOG

December 29, 2016

By December 31st the first draft of You Matter – Identifying your Core Story will be complete. You can follow along as I share some sneak peeks with you until then. Big thanks to Meribeth Deen for being my Story Doula as I give birth to this word-baby. Did I just say that? Word-baby. Oh boy. I said it again.

We live our life unconsciously as stories with excited beginnings, doubtful mid-way points and then panicked or impending endings. We feel the timing of stories. We are captivated by the unknown because we expect an inevitable resolution. We control our lives to avoid the terror of unnecessary surprises. We get story and because the construct of beginning, middle, end is so ingrained into us, we woe-fully take on the dangerous pretense of being able to write our own story, as if we ultimately can. I’m here to tell you that while that’s possible, yes you can pick up the pen and write your own story, set your own course, and create the life you’ve dreamed of (as the inspirational wall art we buy never stops reminding us), this one-sided alpha position approach to living, while it may bring you short-term confidence, perceived control and seemingly peaceful order, it comes at a high price and that usually means your life, figuratively and sometimes even literally.

Yes you know where you’re going

Yes you may have the means to get there

Yes you may even have full confidence that you can ‘make it happen’

Until one day, you don’t, or unspeakably you can’t, or you simply won’t, and you don’t know why. It’s as if you can’t quite put your finger on it, you just know you can’t do this, whatever this is, anymore.

By December 31st 2016 the first draft of this book will be done. If you’d like a complimentary digital copy of TinaO’s Identifying your Core Story, pop your name in here and we’ll be sure to send it to you once it’s complete early 2017.

As well, if you are a Canadian woman with a story to tell and would like to be considered for PUBLISH, a book writing program through powHERhouse Media Group, you may want to consider becoming a Woman we Celebrate so TinaO and Meribeth Deen can support you to get your book written this year.

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TinaO is a Core Story Specialist, a writer, speaker and the founder of TinaOLife – a hub for all things worth living for, and the workshop Live Your Best Story. She’s also a professional network marketer with a decade in the industry and she teaches: selling isn’t slimey and marketing isn’t make-believe. You can be yourself and be successful in Direct Sales.